Choose your own adventure: Jason Garrett or Dak Prescott.
Both of ‘em have it coming.
Please, on this election day, do not waste your time campaigning that either of these men deserve to drink from anything other than a keg of mockery and ridicule after their dynamically dreadful performance on Monday night.
The Cowboys should have had a 17-0 lead on Monday night but bumbled that away to turn a win into a season-defining loss. The Cowboys lost at home to the Tennessee Titans 28-14, and their 2018 season is gone as is their 2019 first round draft pick.
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Jason Garrett, your career is texting you. Might be a good time to crowdsource for a realtor. You have certainly fired enough assistants of late who can help you find one.
Despite having what appears to be a bloodline to the Jones family, Garrett is doing everything he can to be fired as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.
And Dak Prescott is doing everything he can to not be given a monster contract.
Well done, gentlemen. You work for a man who loves nothing more than to overpay jocks and you are blowing it.
The team has eight games remaining, and can only afford to lose one more game this entire season and have a shot at the playoffs. If you want to say two more losses, go ahead. Be stupid enough to believe it.
Maybe a 9-7 record gives them the NFC East title; the chances of that are the same as peace and harmony in Washington, D.C., on Election Day.
The Cowboys are again just a middling, average little football team with some nice pieces, a bunch of attractive cheerleaders, and the greatest salesman in the history of pro sports as their owner.
The team stinks.
And, on Monday, said pile of stink this season belongs not to the fired offensive line coach, but Dak and Garrett.
Dumb: Jason Garrett
The Dallas Cowboys head coach, who normally is never too far outside of the DFW Pit of Shame, deserves it after he did not have the common sense to attend a World Series game in Los Angeles in a suite but directly behind home plate.
It doesn’t matter if it was the Cowboys’ bye week; it does not matter if he was in L.A. to recruit an old offensive line coach to come out of retirement for the rest of the season.
Garrett sitting behind home plate chillin’ with country star Brad Paisley to watch the Dodgers host the Red Sox was a wretched look for a coach who preaches one message but went out and lived another.
Former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson was dead on when he ripped Garrett on the Fox pregame show last week, and do not buy any pro-Cowboys spin that suggests otherwise.
Tony Romo famously went to Cabo on a bye week in the playoffs, and the Cowboys lost their next game. JG went to SoCal on a bye, and the Cowboys lost their next game.
Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
The Cowboys are not going to make the playoffs again under Garrett, and if he keeps his job it’s only because he has DNA evidence he is indeed Jerry’s son.
Dumber: Dak Prescott
Armed with a serious toy at wide receiver in Amari Cooper, the Cowboys handed their franchise quarterback every reason to succeed.
The offensive line, even with a new coach, was again bad but so was Dak.
Dak, these next eight games will not define you as a person, but they will ultimately determine what this franchise does overall, and what it does with you.
Might want to study for these next eight games.
Dak has one year remaining on his original four-year rookie deal, and not even the Cowboys can be dumb enough to bury him with one of those cap-crushing contracts teams have to give the player they believe/pray is their franchise passer.
The more Dak plays, and specifically the more Dak passes, the more he should make every Jones nervous about the possibility of giving him stupid money.
Dak is a gamer, and he may do well on the stat sheet test, but the eyeball test says he’s a cross between Ryan Tannehill and Andy Dalton.
Those guys are good enough to keep you close, and to get you beat.
Armed with Cooper on the outside for the first time as a Cowboy, Dak did some good things, and he did some things that kept the game close, but he helped to turn what should have been a blowout into a loss.
Dak threw a TD pass to Cooper in the first half, and he looked his way many other times, but once again he held on to the ball too long, missed receivers he could not afford to miss, turned it over twice, and overall was good enough to lose a game his team needed.
The Cowboys have eight games remaining to reverse their entire year, and while that possibility is absurd the good news is that at least they will have a high draft pick next year.
Wait .... they don’t???