‘We don’t think it’s safe.’ Some DFW families alter Thanksgiving plans, others don’t
Thanksgiving for Katharine Cowan, 27, usually means three separate meals at three separate households, making time for the family she was born into and the one she acquired.
Cowan, in the past, would begin with an early lunch in Wichita Falls with her younger sister and their grandparents who took them in as children after their father died. She would then drive to Keller to first meet her husband’s family for a late lunch, she said, before ending the day with a dinner at her adopted parents’ home. The couple, who have two other children, grew close with the sisters five years ago through their Lakota Sioux ceremonial group. They chose then to formally become their parents.
For years now, with her husband and two young children, Cowan has carefully picked what to eat from the traditional line-up at each house, not wanting to fill up on any one dish. She has seen dozens of family members, in quick succession and different cities, gathered close together.
But on this Thanksgiving, she said, she’s going to be doing things differently — even if she has family members who would rather go on with business as usual.
Though her grandparents are combining Thanksgiving with Christmas this year due to COVID-19 concerns, Cowan said she and her immediate family were still invited to have meals with her husband’s family and her adopted parents. They plan to make brief appearances at each house, trying to keep social distance and stay outdoors, or wear a mask if indoors. At the end of the night, they will have a less-traditional barbecue at home with each other.
Some people are taking their choice better than others, Cowan told the Star-Telegram over the phone on Tuesday. Her adopted mother’s father has terminal cancer, and this may be his last Thanksgiving.
“They’re pretty upset that we’re not gonna stay for dinner, but there’s other family members,” Cowan said. “We still want to visit and see everyone’s face but we don’t think it’s safe to hang out without a mask indoors.”
Her difficult decision mirrors those of North Texans who are heeding the advice of health officials to practice caution this Thanksgiving as coronavirus cases and hospitalizations have risen to record levels. In both Dallas and Tarrant counties, the elected judges recently issued dire warnings that large indoor gatherings could lead to another surges in cases. Both counties, as of Wednesday, were in the highest risk level for the coronavirus, as measured by a tool from Harvard University.
Last week, the City of Arlington also shared the story of 15 family members getting COVID-19 after a birthday gathering as a way to warn residents the virus can spread indoors, and forgoing usual Thanksgiving activities may be a painful but necessary step in 2020.
But plenty of people across North Texas, and America, intend to proceed with typical Thanksgiving plans. Though air travel is down overall this year compared to past years, the 3 million who went through airports in the U.S. between Friday and Sunday represented the largest crowds since March, according to the Associated Press. More are expected to turn out over the coming week.
Nichol Vogel, 43, of Fort Worth, will go to her parents’ home with her husband, 14-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son, joining a total of six other people, she said. They’ll eat turkey and watch the football games on the TV during the day. At night, they’ll watch “A Christmas Carol,” officially kicking off the holiday season.
“We’ve continued to live our lives as normally as humanly possible during the entire thing,” Vogel said. “I mean, in the end, it’s a virus. We’re probably all going to get it ... If we get it, we get it, I guess.”
She noted her brother who lives in St. Louis isn’t coming this year because his wife is a diabetic, and that if anyone in her family had a pre-existing condition — or her grandmother who died two years ago were still alive — they would make some changes. Her parents, who are in their 60s, are in good shape, she said.
If not for the recent strain on her husband’s business, their family would have been taking a vacation to Seaside, Florida over Thanksgiving, like an early spring break for their kids. But they still want to have as fun, and as normal, a holiday as possible, she said.
“I’m not afraid, I guess, which must mean there’s something wrong with me,” Vogel said.
For Hafsfa Salih, a Nigerian immigrant, Thanksgiving doesn’t come with the same long-standing traditions that it does for typical American families.
The 38-year-old teacher at Tarrant County College has spent his past few Thanksgivings in Fort Worth at gatherings hosted by friends, eating all of the traditional dishes he didn’t grow up around but has come to love. He came to America — Michigan specifically — to study economics, and then lived in Chicago and Milwaukee for short periods of time, he said. But he wanted to live somewhere warmer, with no snow, and picked Fort Worth.
His friends, most of whom he has met at coffee shops over a shared interest in hiking, aren’t hosting meals this year, he said. He and three are friends are skipping tradition altogether, instead going camping near the Red River.
He still feels he has a lot to give thanks for, though, even with the state of the world, he said.
He’s thankful he still has a job. He’s thankful he’s alive.
“If we can make the sacrifice now, then we can celebrate the whole season next year,” Salih said. “It’s not going to be as fun as it used to be, but we still have every reason to be thankful.”
This story was originally published November 25, 2020 at 5:00 AM.
