While the leadership of the Philadelphia Eagles is peacefully protesting against the greatest ever president of the United States, the leadership of the Dallas Cowboys plays with squirt guns shaped like a certain part of the male anatomy.
This is why we love the NFL.
According to our good friends at TMZ, Cowboys players Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott were in Key West, Fla., last weekend for a little "leadership council training." They went to a market where they bought squirt guns in the shape of a penis before a night of bar hopping.
Can't wait to buy my official "Dallas Cowboys Zeke Elliott Penis Squirt Gun" at the Pro Shop.
This visit to the Keys comes only a few days after Zeke told us that, in the absence of Jason Witten and departed veterans, he wants to take on more of a leadership role with the team.
Zeke doesn't need to be a leader. He just needs to be an adult.
But Zeke knows, or fears, adults are boring. He's right. We are.
Adulting means taking care of a slew of junk you would rather give to someone else. Adulting means paying bills. Adulting means saying no. Adulting means going to bed before 11. Adulting means waking up before 7. Adulting means praying for five straight hours of sleep. Adulting means celebrating when no one calls you. At all.
Adulting is dull. And it also works.
Zeke will turn 23 next month, and Zeke needs to embrace the dreaded "adulting" just a bit more if the 2018 Dallas Cowboys are going to be something more than another 8-8 team.
That means fewer instances of being caught by TMZ out late.
These behaviors have had no effect on Zeke the performer, either when he was at Ohio State or on the field with the Cowboys.
So why stop now?
Because these sort of things can lead to something else.
The six-game suspension levied by the NFL at Zeke last season was the first time in his life he had to pay for "something," even if the punishment was an over-reach by most rational standards.
Since the time "Zeke Prescott" entered the league together, the dynamic duo was known to hit Uptown and other spots around Dallas before calling it a night. Dak is known to shut it down early while Zeke traditionally likes to call it a night sometime the next morning.
That sort of behavior is to be expected of a 22-year-old with lots of money and fame. It also has a shelf life. It leads to burnout.
Just go home.
Watch Amazon Prime's "All or Nothing" behind-the-scenes look at the 2017 Dallas Cowboys, and it's evident that Zeke does not quite get it. Or he didn't.
In the grand scheme of Dallas Cowboys screw-ups, Dak and Zeke having fun at a few bars in early June in the Keys is a nothing. It's not even a screw-up. For Zeke, this is actually a tremendously positive step.
Zeke says he wants to be a leader when he doesn't need to fill that role.
Leadership is one of the more overrated virtues in an NFL locker room. Leadership is disguised as rah-rah speeches or whoever is most accessible to the media, when in fact it's about production and being a pro. About being an adult.
The guys who produce and avoid negative headlines are the leaders. Young guys look up to them because they made it. Guys look to them because they know they may be their best shot at thriving in the league.
All locker rooms have leaders. A leader tends to rise and form over time.
The Cowboys don't need Zeke to be a leader.
They just need him to be an adult.