TLN: Panthers head football coach settles into area with foster children

There are nights where Joe and Amber Willis are tucking their children into bed that they spend time answering questions.

These aren’t harmless questions. These are the tough ones.

Where was I born? Why am I here? How did you become my mother and father? The couple understood that when they were going to adopt foster children as their own, these moments and these questions would come.

As much preparation as the couple had to handle any potential difficult situation, nothing could prepare them for the real thing. Between Jan. 29 and Feb. 23 of 2010, Joe, Colleyville Heritage’s new head football coach, and Amber welcomed Malia (now 6), Daniel (now 7) and Bradley (now 11).

“We handle it gently through telling stories as bedtime and answering questions up front,” Joe said. “You can tell that with some of their questions, they have put some extra thought into it. For the most part, our family is not like every family. And that’s OK. This has been our calling. These children are our blessing to us.”

With foster children, permanence and stability can be elusive. Children shift from household to household and likely wonder why they are always at the center of a storm that may never end even after they are grown.

Joe and Amber wanted children but chose the foster route instead of the traditional route or even adopting children from Russia or China. Foster children likely need stability more than any other. For these three, they had been with family members temporarily before Joe and Amber became their parents.

All three have kept their given names. At the time of the adoption, Bradley was old enough to know his life was changing. He was 6. Malia and Daniel were only 10 months and two years old, respectively, and did not.

The path Amber and Joe took began in the summer of 2009. Because Joe’s time was spread with football and Amber had to stick with a tight teaching schedule, the local Austin agency worked with them so they could be accepted.

“When we were getting serious about this, it was one of the reasons why we wanted to leave West Texas and get to one of the main areas like Austin,” Joe said. “We very much wanted to be parents. That really seemed like God’s plan for us, so we could be in a place where we could find a family.”

When the family came together, Joe served as Cedar Park’s defensive coordinator. When he became the head coach in 2012, it added more layers. Yet he found a way to weave Bradley and eventually Daniel and Malia into the football program. The children interacted with the coaching staff and the players.

The process of putting together a football team is a bit like adoption. There are personalities from different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds coming together. Coaches stress the importance for those players to become a family. That’s the only way a team is going to succeed.

Willis sees that in the locker room and the field. He also witnesses it in the living room and at the dinner table.

“It will always be a work in progress,” Joe said. “But I’m a coach and for them to be around the players and the team, it shows how things can develop. It’s a community. I think it’s been great for them to see that and understand it more.”

Amber, who will teach at Cross Timbers Middle School, and Joe probably know more questions are coming. But in time, it’s the hope that the connection strengthens and the trust deepens.

There are subtle reminders these lives continue to settle. Shortly after Joe interviewed at Colleyville Heritage, he became concerned. This is the first major move the Willis family would make.

“Being Timberwolves was all they’ve ever known,” Joe said. “Some of my worries were unfounded. When I came back from the interview, Malia asked if I got the job.

“The others asked if we were getting a house with stairs, what our mascot was and what our colors were. It’s a good reminder of how resilient kids are.”

Call it the natural progression of a family.

This story was originally published July 13, 2015 at 12:52 PM with the headline "TLN: Panthers head football coach settles into area with foster children."