Here’s how to keep the peace at Thanksgiving when politics come up, experts say
Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time for gratitude, family, and comfort food, but with everything happening in the world right now, it can also become a battleground of opinions.
Between the recent government shutdown, election season, and debates over immigration, it doesn’t take much for dinner talk to get heated.
When relatives bring strong political views to the table, the holiday spirit can fade fast.
To help families avoid awkward or explosive moments this year, one Fort Worth therapist says the key is setting boundaries early and remembering that peace matters more than being right.
Here’s what to know.
Why do political arguments flare up during the holidays?
Charity Hagains, co-founder and senior therapist at Noyau Wellness Center Fort Worth, said tension often builds when people with different values and beliefs gather under one roof.
Emotions are heightened, and what starts as a simple comment can quickly become personal.
“When families get together, there’s a sense of tradition and expectation but if people feel unseen or unheard, that can turn into frustration,” Hagains said “Add politics to the mix, and suddenly it’s not just about opinions, it’s about identity.”
How can I keep family conversations from turning political?
Before anyone passes the turkey, Hagains says it helps to know your limits.
“I tell everyone before they go into whatever family they’re going to, to decide what their boundaries are, what they’re willing to talk about and what they’re not,” she said. “If someone crosses that line, you can calmly say, ‘I don’t want to talk about this,’ and if they don’t stop, step away. Go to another room or leave early if you have to.”
Setting those limits early, she adds, keeps the day from turning into an argument. “It’s about holding that line so you don’t end up hating Uncle Fred by the end of the night.”
What should I do if a debate starts anyway?
When the table talk turns political, Hagains suggests shifting your approach instead of your mood.
“Anytime you start a sentence with ‘why,’ you’re inviting an argument,” she said. “Instead, try saying, ‘Tell me more about that,’ or ‘Help me understand what you mean.’ It’s not about agreeing, it’s about keeping things civil and seeing the person, not just their opinion.”
If things still get tense, she says it’s fine to step away for a moment and take a break. A quick reset can save the rest of the evening.
Should families avoid politics altogether?
Hagains believes it’s okay to set that rule ahead of time and focus on what brings everyone together.
“If you know politics or religion are touchy topics, set the rule upfront that those aren’t up for discussion,” she said. “Thanksgiving is about connection and gratitude. Talking about heavy or divisive things can take away from that.”
She recommends letting people know expectations early. “You can literally walk in and say, ‘Today we’re not talking about politics or religion. We’re keeping it light and positive.’”
Hagains says no political point is worth losing your peace or your patience.
“You’re not going to change anyone’s mind over turkey and mashed potatoes,” she said. “So focus on what you can control: your boundaries, your reactions, and your mood. The goal is to leave with your sanity intact and your heart full, not to win a debate.”
