With summertime downtime having arrived at the office, my personal staycation request centers on selfishness.
Jock kingdom entertainment is my drug of choice, even with the Dell now being shut down for a while.
So over the next month, and July can be pivotal, here are three major objectives that could bring us all future entertainment enhancement:
— The Mavericks’ elite withdrawal of the last two seasons has been a painful thing. But let this be the summer when Mark Cuban gets his butt in gear, signs guard Chris Paul, who, in turn, recruits his pal, LeBron James, next summer.
OK, it’s a bit far-fetched. But Cuban owes us, right? Get to working on it, Mark. Chris Paul is your immediate assignment.
— Jon Daniels, even as we speak, has to be masterminding a revival plan for the Rangers between now and the trading deadline five weeks away.
A high-end pitcher arrives. A high-end outfield bat arrives. Granted, I’m not exactly sure how Daniels pulls this off, given what he’s got to deal, or doesn’t have to deal.
But the Rangers’ stated objective is not just to get to October, but to make an October impact. Now that we are addicted to October baseball entertainment, and heartbreak, anything less is a franchise failure.
At the moment, the Rangers are obviously not an October impact team.
Bear down, Jon.
— Johnny Football, I still love you.
Stay you, Johnny boy. Don’t be what the roaring army of new critics now demands you be.
To me, the greatest source of jock kingdom entertainment, statewide, over the last year was Mr. Manziel’s electricity show that generated out of College Station.
The kid is a quarterback who entertains, and who also freely endorses his newfound celebrity status. Flaunts that celebrity a bit, you can say.
Those who entertain usually walk a fine line between genius and stupid.
At times, Johnny is a college football knucklehead.
What? The knucklehead element in college football isn’t prevalent? Check the most successful programs in the country. Most of them have had, and still have, knuckleheads galore, including programs that trend heavily to the criminal side.
But at the moment, the sports media world has turned on Johnny Football.
His crime: Twitter.
Johnny can’t get off Twitter.
OK, I agree. He’s a Twitter idiot.
And there are 367,000 “followers” out there who actually want to hear what he has to say, and what sort of LeBron-and-me kind of picture he will post next.
Last week, there was a national — I said national — uproar over a tweet of “... can’t wait to leave College Station,” which was followed by something much worse.
His apology for the first tweet was “... I love A&M with all my heart, but please, please walk a day in my shoes.”
Real stupid, of course, that “walk a day” stuff.
He’s 20 years old. He got mad about a parking ticket from the College Station PD. A parking ticket. It’s happens when you are 20. You do stupid stuff. Fifty years later, some of us are still doing stupid stuff and writing stupid stuff, except not on Twitter.
Johnny boy is our Twitter knucklehead.
But since celebrity hit last fall, has he really done anything off the field that would bring shame to his school, his family, or himself?
It’s not on a police blotter if he has.
Just guessing, but it appears that Johnny might have done some underage beer drinking. True confession: That even happened in my college days. I hear tell it still happens.
But some SEC media troll was on ESPN last week telling the world how “troubling” the Johnny Manziel situation had now become. Troubling?
I got troubling for this guy. That’s when four Alabama football players were kicked off the team earlier this year for beating up, then robbing, fellow students on campus.
You want troubling, check the police blotter for football players at basically every SEC school. I’m not necessarily singling out the SEC here, but it was an SEC troll going indignant on TV about Johnny Football.
Twitter is not a crime. Yes, I will support future legislation that it should be.
But Johnny Football did hit the police blotter two years ago. He was involved in a bar fight on campus. He was carrying a fake ID. At the time it wasn’t a big deal to the world because he was a third-string, at best, redshirt quarterback.
Again, since celebrity status arrived last fall, Johnny has not had trouble, outside of Twitter.
Sure, man, Johnny absolutely needs to get off Twitter, and thanks a lot to all those who keep writing and saying that. We get your obvious point and wholeheartedly agree.
But he won’t get off Twitter. Johnny even attempted to cold-turkey it back in March. Couldn’t do it. He’s addicted. He’s a Twitter knucklehead who loves his celebrity, and wants to tweet you the LeBron pictures, and such.
But so bleeping what if a 20-year-old overreacts to a parking ticket, and then tells his world of followers about his shoes?
He was stupid for that, but just as stupid was the overreaction.
Again, let’s get back to what really matters. My selfishness.
The only thing I care about is August, and football practice starting, and then September, and the football season starting.
There was no greater jock kingdom entertainment than Johnny Football last year.
Give us that again, Johnny Boy. But in my staycation absence for the next month, steer clear of real trouble, OK?
I need you, man.
Got my doubts about Cuban or Daniels being able to carry out their summer assignments, but not about Johnny.
Until Twitter becomes a crime, the kid’s still clean.