In Pursuit of Profession: Well Excuuuuseeee Me!

More than ever before, people from all walks of life are working together in today’s offices. When we think of diversity, images of people from different races, cultures, and possibly different genders come to mind. But with a possibility of workers from five different generations in your office, there could be a real possibility of a millennial working with a Baby Boomer. Maybe, just maybe, you’re a Baby Boomer working for a Millennial with more than just a couple decades of life experience filling the gulf between you. Add to those differences that we are under pressure to produce more and more every year, every sales quarter or every month, and we get a climate ripe for misunderstandings and even downright disrespect.

So what can we do to bring back a sense of civility to our workplaces? How can our leaders foster teamwork? How can younger professionals minimize the missteps on the way up the corporate ladder? I recently had the chance to chat with Rosanne J. Thomas, an expert on business etiquette, President of Protocol Advisors, Inc. of Boston, Massachusetts, and author of the new book, EXCUSE ME: The Survival Guide to Modern Business Etiquette. In the book, Thomas doesn’t just merely serve up lists of rules and protocols that we must follow, rather she shares dozens of real-life scenarios and valuable advice that sometimes comes down to the fact that if we screw up and offend someone, we’ve got to apologize and learn from our mistake.

Mark Fadden (MF): “How prevalent do you think workplace incivility is? Would you give us a sense of its toll on individual employees, teams, and organizations?”

Rosanne J. Thomas (RT): “Unfortunately, workplace incivility is very prevalent. An incredible 80 percent of employees say they get no respect at work. And up to 95 percent say they have either experienced or witnessed disrespect. It takes a tremendous toll, not only on the individual who experiences incivility, but the employees who witness it. And of course, there is a great deal at stake financially for employers.

“Incivility affects employee engagement, morale, productivity and health. It is also contagious. Employees who witness disrespect are far more likely to show disrespect, creating a culture of rudeness that seeps into all interactions, including those with customers. Disrespected employees are more likely to leave jobs, increasing their company’s severance and benefits pay, recruiting, hiring and training costs, and potentially legal fees. For employees who stay, absenteeism and health care costs are huge concerns for the employer.

“Disrespect ruins companies’ reputations, loses customers and eats up managers’ valuable time. It also affects recruiting, as today, all a prospective job candidate needs to do is go to a site like glassdoor.com to find out all they need to know about a company’s culture.”

MF: “How do you define real respect in a workplace context? Would you explain the concept and practice of the Platinum Rule?”

RT: “Real respect is about more than just saying “please” and “thank you” or holding a door open, although these are still recommended! Real respect is the outward expression - we actually have to show it - of esteem and deference for another. It’s wide-ranging. It extends to others’ viewpoints, philosophies, religion, gender, ethnicity, physical ability, background, age and personality. We have to have an understanding of what respect means to others to successfully show them respect.

“This brings us to the “Platinum Rule.” Most of us have heard of the “Golden Rule” which instructs us to “treat others as we would wish to be treated.” This rule is based upon an assumption that all others would want to be treated as we would. The “Platinum Rule,” introduced by Dr. Milton Bennett, assumes that people are different. It instructs us to “treat others the way they would wish to be treated.” In a diverse employee population, it puts responsibility on everyone’s shoulders to find out what respect means to our co-workers and to proceed accordingly.”

MF: “How do generational differences aggravate workplace disrespect? Would you share a few behavioral practices for building bridges between Traditionalists, Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials?”

RT: “This particular issue is not new. Generations have always been at odds to one extent or another. But because of the times in which they co-existed, each had a similar baseline understanding of what was considered respectful behavior. Today, the biggest disrupter is unquestionably technology. Not only has it changed the way we live and work, it has changed behavioral expectations. Today, the “digital natives,” those who never knew a time without digital technology, are trying to work side by side and understand “digital immigrants,” those for whom technology is a second language they are trying to master. And these two factions do not always look at respect in the same way.

“But we have to work together, and it takes a conscious decision to try and understand, not judge, people of other generations. Everyone has something to contribute and savvy employers and employees know this. So rather than lament “how it used to be,” older workers can appreciate their younger colleagues’ technical skills and endeavor to learn from them. And rather than assume all older workers are “over the hill” and resistant to change, younger workers can take advantage of the wealth of experience, perspective, and contacts sitting right beside them. It’s a win-win.”

MF: “In today's global business arena, many people work with other people from different countries. Without becoming an expert of every culture's norms and customs, how is it possible to avoid unintentionally offending someone?”

RT: “The good news is we do not need to, and cannot know as much about another’s culture as the person from that culture knows. What we need to acknowledge is that there are differences, sometime profound differences, in just about everything. History, language, religion, value systems, communication styles, and attitudes towards women, minorities and age groups could all be very different. Business practices, such as locus of decision making, pace of business, formality of interactions, dining, entertaining and gift-giving could be to! Even gestures hold different meaning across cultures. So we learn as much as we can about another culture and then apply this learning to the individual. We try not to stereotype; e.g., every American is not like every other American. Most of all we do not judge, or compare other cultures to our culture in any negative way.”

MF: “How is business etiquette crucial to personal brand-building and networking?”

RT: “It is crucial because there is a certain expectation of what professionalism looks like and sounds like, and concern about someone who does not meet these expectations. Again, fairly or unfairly, how we conduct ourselves in a myriad of seemingly insignificant ways each and every day either contributes to our individual brand or detracts from it. Our credibility is at stake, which has an impact upon the success of our relationship-building and networking.”

For more information on the new book, Excuse Me, and to order a copy, visit http://protocoladvisors.com/excuse-me/.

This story was originally published August 20, 2017 at 12:00 AM with the headline "In Pursuit of Profession: Well Excuuuuseeee Me!."