God forbid you go without eggs: Top 25 ‘panic shopping’ list for Fort Worth snow
A point fiercely used in political campaigns by liberals and conservatives is now no longer a joke but a major strain on the house.
Eggs.
Weather is expected to soon encase North Texas in a dome of snow, sleet and freezing rain; when “weather” comes, our innate instinct takes over to load up on all dairy products, starting with eggs. Of any kind.
Free range. Cage free. Caged and locked up. Gluten free. Gluten infused. Organic. Pasture raised. Raised by single moms. Grade A. Grade B. Grade F. Large white. Jumbo Brown. Equally yoked. And, for the truly desperate, non-organic.
If we are going to be prisoners to our home for 24 hours, studies have shown there is a 98 percent chance of death if our fridge doesn’t have at least eight eggs.
Name your price.
Those numbers triple if we don’t have at least a half gallon of milk. Milk of any variety. One percent. Two percent. Ten percent. Whole. Skim. Lactose-free. Organic. Soy. Almond. Oat. Coconut. Hemp. Chocolate. And, everyone’s favorite, strawberry.
We are in the Metroplex’s four-week window that our local weather people call “The Show.” This is what you play for; the time that makes or breaks careers. This is what makes all of those endless weeks of forecasting “Hellishly Hot” from May to September worth it.
This is also the time grocery stores cash in, and clear their shelves, and backrooms, of unwanted/overpriced items that people will buy now because the other alternatives are gone.
Even though the price of a carton egg has become a point of contention and anger, this is the time we will ignore the $5.78 tag, and power through. This is about survival.
Panic Grocery List Top 25
For the 103rd year in a row, the egg is No. 1 in the AP Panic Grocery List Top 25.
1. Eggs. A run of dominance that would shame Nick Saban’s Alabama teams.
2. Toilet paper. “Weather” is not the time to be without if it goes south.
3. Beer. Versatility and necessity make it a top five.
4. Milk. The Notre Dame of panic grocery shopping. Here based on name recognition. No one ever finishes it before the arbitrary expiration date.
5. Peanut butter. The Ohio State of this list; it’s always there.
6. Bottled water. Because tap water will kill us.
7. Wine. Good argument it should be ahead of water.
8. Flashlight. You’ll never actually use it, but it makes everyone feel better knowing it’s there because you can’t find the other four you already own.
9. Crackers. Dropped in recent years because carbs are poison.
10. White wine. Totally different. It’s not red.
11. Bread. Ability to be a part of a meal and a snack is unrivaled.
12. Batteries. Now is not the time to let the TV remote die.
13. Granola bars. We’ve convinced ourselves this is a healthy snack, even though it can outlive a Twinkie.
14. Beer.
15. Jelly. Check your fridge; there are three mostly full containers wedged behind the mustard.
16. Salmon. Stuck at home is the ideal opportunity to eat healthy as a family.
17. Pasta. The champion of no-effort meals.
18. Frozen pizza. The loving way to say, “Here kids, shut up and leave me alone.”
19. Whiskey. It’s a cough suppressant.
20. Cookies. For peace of mind even if the box won’t last the first day.
21. Canned beans. After digestion is complete, take a walk outside.
22. Dried fruits. The neighbor you don’t like said that’s what they buy, and you can’t be outdone by them.
23. Canned tuna. If the power and water don’t work, the ideal tasteless lunch that will keep you from crushing the box of cookies for at least an hour.
24. Green beans. Voters put it here to avoid a lawsuit from Group of Five vegetables.
25. Beer.
(*If you have an un-potty-trained child, diapers are No. 1.)
This story was originally published January 22, 2026 at 11:14 AM.
