On Father’s Day, as Roe may be flipped, Tony Dungy’s mission is needed: Dads, be involved
As Roe v. Wade sits close to its dissolution, the math says there will be more people born into this world, and the necessity will never be greater for the parents to do their job.
Both parents.
Regardless of your feelings about upcoming Supreme Court decision on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, there is a reason why Pro Football Hall of Fame member Tony Dungy spends countless hours working to recruit fathers to fill their roles as fathers.
On this Father’s Day, there still remains a need for the dad to be dad. That’s not Blue. That’s not Red. It’s not Black. It’s not White. It’s not Brown.
It’s just a fact.
Dungy catches a lot of grief for his traditional, Christian-based views, which sometimes are construed as an attack on the African-American community, and a lot of other people, too.
“I don’t think it’s calling out the African-American community per se; I see this all over. Socio-economic, wherever,” Dungy told me in an interview when he appeared at Fort Worth’s South Hills Elementary School earlier this spring.
“My kids go to a school in a very wealthy, private school [in Tampa, Florida]. It’s the same thing there. It’s because of divorce there. Dads that are engaged the outcomes are better, that’s whether you are divorced or you’ve never been married. Whatever the case is, if you can be engaged in the child’s life, it’s better. That is the message.”
Twenty five years ago, Dungy started his “All Pro Dads” foundation. It has 250 chapters in Texas. It held an All Pro dads event in May at TCU’s indoor practice football facility where fathers essentially participated in group activities with their kids.
The whole concept of that event and the foundation is basic: Encouraging dads to be involved and engaged with their children.
The number of children living with two parents has dropped since 1968, while the percentage living with only their mother has doubled, according to the U.S. Census.
In 1968, 85% of children lived with two parents (regardless of marital status); by 2020, 70% did.
As roles for the parent continually evolve, the expectation for the father remains low compared to the mother.
It is often to the point where if the dad changes one diaper or cooks a meal a week he has exceeded all reasonable expectations.
“We have distorted in this country, I think, the dad’s responsibility which is to provide financial support and they’re fine. Mom does everything else,” he said. “It’s not supposed to be like that. It’s a partnership. Mom and dad both do that. The dad should be just as involved with direction, support, nurturing, guidance and love.
“We’ve taken that out. It’s just, ‘If I provide financially that’s it.’”
There are conventional elements to his plea that are sometimes taken as attack on the progressive movement, which sometimes involves same-sex couples or even the single-parent.
Look past that. Dungy’s point is irrefutable: A child has a better chance with two involved parents.
This mission began decades ago when Dungy was coaching the Tampa Bay Bucs, starting in 1996.
“When I was coaching, as time went on this all got more urgent for me. I would talk to young men who could be potential players for us, and I found out so many of them didn’t grow up with their dads,” he said. “That was shocking to me.”
Dungy grew up with his mom and dad. The latter was a teacher who had a teacher’s schedule. HIs dad was around and engaged with his children. Dungy just figured all dads were like his.
When he attended high school and college, he learned the example his father lived was not as common as he preferred.
For more than a decade, Dungy spoke to prospective NFL players at the Combine in Indianapolis. Time and again he heard the father figure was a coach or a teacher. Not the biological father.
“What happens to the young people who aren’t involved in sports? Who don’t have the surrogate male figure to be the father?” he asked. “I think we have to be more what God wants us to be.”
Which is?
“For us to be there, and to be present and to be the guide of the family,” he said. “For us to show them what it means to be an adult. To be responsible. To be here, and to be a part of it. It’s not always easy. We do have financial demands and other situations that come up, but we know if the man is engaged in the lives of the kids, that life is going to be better for them.”
The message is rooted in Christianity, but should be just as digestible for an atheist or any person from any background.
