The best part of Fort Worth Kennel Club Dog Show is not the dogs, but its humans
Attending a dog show is depressing.
Watching the cute Golden Retrievers or Dachshunds politely navigate their way through a crowd is endearing.
Watching a Scottish Terrier sit, obey, stand, read Spanish, play the piano and do long division is impressive until you realize the gold standard for the canine you own is if they don’t go No. 2 on your carpet.
That should be a category at dog shows.
Same for the dog who doesn’t bark, and lose its mind, when someone knocks on the door.
Who cares if a dog’s tail stands straight? There should be a Best in Show ribbon for the Dog Who Doesn’t Pull Your Arm Off Walking Down the Street When It Sees Another Dog.
On Friday at Will Rogers Memorial convention hall, the Fort Worth Kennel Club began its annual three-day event, and there is nothing quite like the beautiful faux drama of the American dog show.
It’s one of the last places where you can say, “That’s a beautiful bitch you have there” and not only will you not be canceled, but will receive a thank you.
As much as the dogs are the Hollywood stars of this event, the humans behind these pampered pure-bred beauties steal this show.
Whether you’re rich, poor, straight, gay, weird, normal, every human who loves dogs has a home at a dog show.
As a fan of dogs, and the classic 2000 mockumentary “Best in Show,” I always wondered if for the people who breed, and show, dogs if the movie was funny, or offensive.
“It’s hilarious,” said Denise Tatro of Fort Worth, who has bred and shown dogs since 1962. “We all loved it, because we all know those people. It’s one of the funniest movie ever made.”
All of those quirky characters writers Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy created for the movie were in Fort Worth on Friday at this dog show.
You don’t even have to talk to them to know who is who. They attend every dog show in the United States.
“The woman who handled the Poodle is dead on,” said Susie Bogan of Houston, who was showing her Bluebonnet Cardigan Welsh Corgi on Friday afternoon. (She’s referring to actress Jane Lynch.)
On Friday, a handler walked her American Hairless Terrier to its crate and told her dog, “Now don’t pee on anything.” As soon as the crate door closed, her prized pooch raised its leg and gave the surface a quick power spray.
Once you get used to the unmistakable kennel odor, and the copious amounts of hair on the floor, you’ll notice that all of these dogs at the dog show are treated like members of the family. They are likely treated better than most members of the families where they actually live.
A dog show is both very funny, and quite serious.
While often maligned by critics who think people should go to the local shelter and rescue dogs, the dog business is big business.
Depending on the breed, it’s common for some dogs to fetch $2,000, at least. Dog handlers can make as much as $300 per dog, per show.
“You have some handlers who will make $30,000 on a weekend, depending on how many dogs they have,” said Ellie Macnair of Houston.
That’s not the norm. People who are “dog handlers” for a living aren’t living in Jeff Bezos’ neighborhood. They may, however, handle one of Jeff Bezos’ dogs.
The four-pound chihuahua, Shares’ Captain Cool, was still trembling like a paint shaker after a five-pound dog jumped her during a show in December. Dog PTSD, apparently, is a thing. It’s owner, Sharon Massad, held the 1-year-old Captain Cool like an infant.
“We are working with her on getting over it so she won’t be so scared,” said Massad, who has worked with dogs for more than 20 years. “It will take a while but she’ll get there. She hasn’t been the same since that dog flipped her.”
As seasoned, trained and tough as some of these dog pros are, there is still a place for the novice dog owner who wants to see if their dog can be Best in Show. To see if their dog can run with the big dogs. (Sorry, that was awful.)
Betsy Anderson of Round Rock drove to Fort Worth with her two-year-old Poodle, Sofie.
With her groomed coif, clipped nails and big hair, Sofie looks like she belongs next to a Kardashian or other pretty A-listers at a Parisian fashion show than among Bullmastiffs and Beagles at a dog show in Fort Worth, Texas.
Besty has been playing with Poodles since she was a kid, and learned to use Dawn dishwashing liquid when given her pooch a bath.
This is Sofie’s first dog show, and Betsy figured she’d just give it a try. She didn’t rely on watching YouTube videos to learn how to present Sofie, but something similar to that.
You may make fun of all of this, of dog shows, and its canine and human participants. And while you do just remember the dog that you love hasn’t won a ribbon, sits on your couch, drinks your beer and is in full control of the remote control.
This story was originally published March 26, 2022 at 5:00 AM.
