Panic buying before winter storm hits North Texas shows we haven’t learned anything
At T-minus six hours the grocery store is nearly empty of all milk products, water and carrots because these are but some of the essential items to occupy our kids, and survive, during a weather/zombie apocalypse.
Perusing a crowded grocery store in Southwest Fort Worth on Wednesday morning, hours before Dante’s ice and cold descended on us, it looks like we have learned zero since March of 2020.
Check that; this time we don’t need toilet paper. Our personal stockpiles of two-ply are still in good shape.
COVID quarantine living was God’s way of handing us the playbook for being stuck in the house, and living with less, but we just can’t do it.
For those of us who aren’t good parents and can’t get a flight to Cancun, our preparations for this latest potential bout with weather confirms that we will never shed our insatiable inner desire to panic, and overpurchase.
If we aren’t buying, we are useless.
According to the local forecasters our ‘hood is going to receive some bad weather.
For about 48 hours.
Not 48 days.
Hours.
Not that long ago we were stuck in our homes for months, and shamed for opening the front door, but cold weather is just too much to take.
From school administrators who cannot wait to cancel classes, to weather forecasters who treat this like the Kentucky Derby, bad weather in this area unleashes our inner idiot.
We treat a forecast of 30 degrees and rain like a swarm of killer bees that are riding missiles launched from North Korea.
This latest panic is not because this region is so scarred by what happened in last year’s Icemageddon, when we experienced historically bad weather that had tragic consequences.
This latest reaction, where there is a run on pizza crusts and whiskey, is just the way we handle these types of events.
Because we don’t trust ERCOT to knock this one out of the park, all of us have fled our kitchens to the local stores to buy what we will die without: Bottled water. Milk. Eggs. Bread.
And Pop-Tarts.
And juice. Not just orange juice. Any kind of juice.
And every single box of Jimmy Dean frozen meal options, and nearly all of the Eggo waffle options, too.
And the $12.99 Fritos Family Pack.
And cases of bottled Starbucks mocha frappuccino drinks.
And Michelob Ultra.
And Bud Light.
Amid all of these empty shelves there is some good news.
There is one area of the store that had neither a supply chain issue, or was nearly empty because of consumer purchasing. There are still plenty of fruits and veggies available.
These foods are perishable, but they’re not going to go bad in 48 hours.
The only item in the veggie region of the store that was nearly low were the bags of carrots. Kids love crunching carrots.
The potato section was a bit low, too. Maybe this is an Irish part of town, and the fear of another famine prompted this run.
There is one other section that has plenty of items, too, at affordable prices: 2021 Dallas Cowboys’ NFC East Champions gear.
Before you go home and “hunker down” in front of your phone to shop on Amazon, you need to hit the liquor store.
At 11 a.m., this particular store had a line of 14 customers waiting to check out. In one man’s shopping cart were two cases of red wine. (He’s married.)
Forget the two cases of red wine, needing a shopping cart at a liquor store may be cause for introspection.
This place was running low on Maker’s Mark, and Gentleman Jack, but had something called Virus Vodka.
Buy it, because you are going to need a fifth to go to the final destination before hibernating: Costco.
At 11:20 a.m., America’s epicenter for stupid spending looked like a used car lot as people were lined up to buy gas, 88 sticks of butter, and a 54-inch screen TV for the bathroom.
These next 48 hours are going to be hell, and while last year’s historic snow storm may have scarred us, we can’t help ourselves because living in quarantine has taught us nothing.
