Dallas Cowboys are on their way to becoming this century’s Chicago Cubs | Opinion
Kids are back in school, but here’s a question no history textbook can help you answer: What happened on Jan. 28, 1996?
Siri, Alexa ... mom, dad ... help us out.
What you might have deduced by now is that’s the last time the Dallas Cowboys played in a Super Bowl.
No teenager was alive, and anyone under 30 probably can’t remember it. The Dallas Cowboys are now just a few short decades from becoming the NFL’s version of the Chicago Cubs, not America’s Team but America’s Losers who went a quick 108 years between World Series titles.
So as Jerry Jones outlined another Dallas Cowboys’ pre-draft strategy earlier this week, all I could think of was of the children.
All of those kids with big hearts, endless enthusiasm and optimism, who are unknowingly so vulnerable to our world’s realities.
During the Cowboys’ pre-draft press conference on Tuesday, Hall of Fame team owner Jerry said, “Don’t be stupid over your needs. ... What is exciting about the 10th pick is you got a chance to do something unconventional.”
Oh, God ... no. They’re going to draft another wide receiver.
There are kids all over this land, and overseas, who consider themselves Dallas Cowboys fans. This is all they know.
Take Chris Schannen of McKinney, who is a junior in high school. He was born June 4, 2003.
On his bedroom wall is a framed collage of ticket stubs from the Dallas Cowboys’ Super Bowl wins. You do the math.
He wasn’t around the last time his team won a Super Bowl. He was 4 when Wade Phillips took his 2007 Dallas Cowboys, the top seed in the NFC, and lost at home to the New York Giants in the NFC divisional round.
“I don’t remember that. My first memory of liking the Cowboys was in 2009, when they beat the Eagles to get into the playoffs, and then beat them the next week in the [wild-card game],” he said.
A charming first memory of a team.
“Then they lost by, like, 30 points to the Vikings the next week,” he said.
Now that’s more like it.
But what are they teaching these kids at that school of his? The Cowboys didn’t lose by 30 points to the Vikings in the 2009 NFC divisional round. They lost by 31.
So what exactly is the “Super Bowl” for the Cowboys’ fan who was born after 2000?
“The Dez Bryant game,” he said.
Embarrassing.
If your memory is short, “The Dez Byrant game” is the Cowboys’ loss to the Green Bay Packers in the 2014 NFC divisional round. Dez caught a ball that was ruled incomplete, and the Cowboys lost.
“That’s what I point to every time as the high point for me,” he said. “That was the first year I watched them and the Cowboys were actually really good. That’s pretty sad. I still think if they gave him that catch we would have gone to the Super Bowl.”
You have to love this. This response contains the necessary delusion required to be a Cowboys fan this century.
Schannen’s popular opinion ignores the fact a bad defense that could not pressure a one-legged Aaron Rodgers was going to magically stop him in the final minutes of the game.
But Schannen is no different than millions of other young people these days who consider themselves Cowboys fans. He blames his parents.
“My dad’s a Cowboys fan, so that hooked me,” he said. “I bet if I could have picked a team I would have picked the Patriots or some team like that.
“Yeah, Cowboys fans are most made fun of. I don’t question it. I have no desire to switch teams. I have Cowboys collectibles.”
You can almost hear Jerry Jones smiling at the thought of this innocent young man buying Cowboys collectibles coming off the glittering 6-10 season. Imagine the spending spree if they finish 9-7.
“Who do I blame for this? For my entire life they had Jason Garrett as the head coach, so I blame Jerry Jones for not firing him,” he said. “And now Mike McCarthy doesn’t look much better.
“Maybe we’re just a cursed franchise now.”
You mean the way the Cubs were for a century?
Chris is 17 years old, and he already sounds jaded, and cynical, about his favorite football team. It’s not his fault.
So Jerry, on draft night, think about Chris. And all of the kids just like him.
Don’t screw this up.
This story was originally published April 28, 2021 at 1:03 PM.
