Mac Engel

Only beer made TCU and Arkansas-Pine Bluff palatable

What TCU fans think about the new in-and-out policies at the stadium

TCU fans react to the new in-and-out polices, beer sales at the Amon G. Carter Stadium before the season opening game against Arkansas At Pine Bluff.
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TCU fans react to the new in-and-out polices, beer sales at the Amon G. Carter Stadium before the season opening game against Arkansas At Pine Bluff.

While watching TCU play Arkansas-Pine Bluff, any rational person would speculate that the players themselves had a beer or two or ten stashed on the sidelines.

Beer would have at least explained some of the sloppiness by both teams, specifically the home team. For instance, TCU fumbled the ball seven times, but lost only two.

For the first time in the history of TCU, beer was available for every legally-aged patron at a home football game. Since there are no specific NCAA bylaws (yet) about playing football under the influence, it’s possible both teams were half popped.

TCU defeated Arkansas-Pine Bluff 39-7 in a game that looked like it was played in the rain, but it was a perfect night. In the process we learned little about the 2019 Horned Frogs because this game, and games like this, should not be played.

You’re the reason they do.

TCU ‘HIGHLIGHTS’

The three stars of the game were a kicker, a band and beer.

1.) TCU could not score touchdowns, but place kicker Jonathan Song was the best player on his entire offense. I quit counting field goals after he made his fifth of the night, in the third quarter.

TCU’s offense is a bleep-show, and could be so average TCU coach Gary Patterson will need a beer flask to get through a game.

2.) The Arkansas-Pine Bluff marching band was by far the most impressive performer on the field. It delivered a killer halftime performance.

3.) Beer was so popular Saturday night at Amon G. Carter Stadium some concession stands were selling out of Miller Lite and Coors late in the second quarter, although the TCU media relations staff could not confirm or deny this troubling trend.

Troubling for two reasons: A.) If you intend to sell beer, stock it as if you are prepared for a nuclear winter. TCU students can actually buy beer on their ID cards that their parents typically pay for; the bill will simply read “concessions” on the monthly statement.

B.) Coors should not qualify as “beer.” With all due respect to former Star-Telegram sports columnist Randy Galloway, Miller Lite is beer for cowards. And Michelob Ultra has less alcohol content than Sprite.

Beer consumption made TCU’s home opener against Arkansas-Pine Bluff on Saturday more palatable, but not any more compelling.

TCU’S NEED FOR AN ARKANSAS-PINE BLUFF

The point spread on this game was TCU minus 55. Most matchups like that are not called games. They are called crimes.

While we slaughter the NFL for its offensive preseason schedule, college football coaches and their enabling athletic directors should be slapped around for these non-conference slates.

Under an Open Records Request, I requested a copy of the contract for this game from the University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff. While the contract was sent to me, virtually anything of interest was redacted.

Per the school, the particulars were “redacted in accordance with Arkansas FOIA law as it pertains to competitive advantage and the schools’ ability to negotiate future contracts.”

The words “competitive advantage” do not pertain to anything about TCU playing Arkansas-Pine Bluff in football.

TCU, like so many other schools, are essentially subsidizing other football programs, and often athletic departments, all over the nation with these “guarantee” games.

One source said TCU paid UAPB more than $550,000 for what is a glorified scrimmage. Bet it’s a lot more than that.

If it makes you feel any better, the University of Tennessee paid Georgia State $950,000 to come to Knoxville, Tennessee, on Saturday and beat the Volunteers.

So ... TCU got a real deal.

Schools like UAPB absolutely need these games to survive. Coaches want them because they are a win.

Fans should want no part of these games; it’s bad product priced at a premium rate. TCU will not host a team that had a winning record in 2018 until Oct. 26, when my guy Tommy Boy Herman brings his Texas Longhorns to Fort Worth.

As bad as these TCU/Arkansas Pine-Bluff games are to watch, the fan wants the win more than the compelling non-conference matchup.

So that’s what we get.

At least on Saturday fans also got some beer, and a killer marching band.

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Mac Engel is an award-winning columnist who has extensive experience covering Fort Worth-Dallas area sports for 20 years. He has covered high schools, colleges, all four major sports teams as well as Olympic games and the world of entertainment, too. He combines dry wit with first-person reporting to complement a head of hair that is almost unfair.
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