Mac Engel

Embarrassingly early prediction for the 2019 Dallas Cowboys entire season

You are now permitted to schedule your wedding, that girls weekend, the guys weekend, a hunting trip, the fishing expedition, or reason to escape the many walls of your domain.

The NFL has allowed us all to move forward as it has released its 2019 schedule.

Let us all celebrate.

The NFL Draft is weeks away, other players are to be signed, and rosters are far from set, which makes this the perfect time to predict the Dallas Cowboys’ entire season.

Remember, the Dallas Cowboys under Jason Garrett have never made the playoffs in consecutive years. They made the playoffs last season.

Take it to the window, and bet the kids’ tuition.

Week 1. v. New York Giants, Sept. 8 at 3:25 p.m.

Because the Giants don’t have a quarterback, but rather a mirage of an older quarterback, the Cowboys win.

1-0.

Week 2. at Washington Redskins, Sept. 15, noon.

With Alex Smith’s leg still in about five pieces, the Washington quarterback will be Colt McCoy or Case Keenum. Only because it’s early, Cowboys lose.

1-1

Week 3. vs. Miami Dolphins, Sept. 22, noon.

The Dolphins may as well bring Don Strock out of retirement. Can’t see the Cowboys losing to this team.

2-1.

Week 4. at New Orleans Saints, Sept. 29, 7:20 p.m.

Drew Brees will throw for over 300 yards, and with the memory of their embarrassing loss at Jerry World last season, the Saints stomp on the Cowboys.

2-2

Week 5. Green Bay Packers, Oct. 6 at 3:25 p.m

Aaron Rodgers is 4-3 versus the Cowboys during the regular season, and 2-0 in the playoffs. Expect him to improve to 5-3.

2-3

Week 6. at New York Jets, Oct. 13, 3:25 p.m.

This all depends on whether Sam Darnold continues to develop into an NFL quarterback, or the second coming of Mark Sanchez. Law of averages says the Jets will eventually find their heir to Richard Todd, but as of right now go with the Cowboys.

3-3

Week 7. Philadelphia Eagles, Oct. 20, 7:20 p.m.

This has morphed into such a fun game again that the advantage should go to the home team. Should.

4-3

Week 8. BYE

The Cowboys should be able to hang on and not lose this.

Week 9. at New York Giants, Nov. 4 at 7:15 p.m

A Monday Night game that will feature Eli Manning on the bench, and a potential replacement starting.

5-3

Week 10. Minnesota Vikings, Nov. 10, 7:20 p.m.

Expect the Vikings to be better than last year, when they missed the playoffs, but the disaster that is Kirk Cousins continues. A wonderful guy who simply is a nice backup.

6-3

Week 11. at Detroit Lions, Nov. 17, noon

This game should be a W, which means the Lions will win.

6-4

Week 12. at New England Patriots, Nov. 24 at 3:25 p.m.

LOL LOL LOL Yeah. No.

6-5

Week 13. Buffalo Bills, Nov. 28, 3:30 p.m.

This is the Thanksgiving Day game. The Bills. On Thanksgiving. Could the NFL have found a more lame opponent? If the Cowboys lose, move.

7-5

Week 14. at Chicago Bears, Dec. 5, 7:20 p.m.

Chicago. In December. I don’t care who their kicker is, the Bears will win. This game will be minus 45 degrees with a windchill that makes it feel 80 below. I am cold just writing about this.

7-6

Week 15. Los Angeles Rams, Dec. 15, 3:25 p.m.

A rematch of the 2018 NFC Divisional round that ended the Cowboys’ season in L.A.; until proven otherwise the Rams are the better team.

7-7

Week 16. at Philadelphia Eagles, Dec. 22, 3:25 p.m.

It’s late in December, so of course Jason Garrett is on his way out. This prediction assumes Carson Wentz is not playing because of injury. Cowboys win and save Garrett’s job.

8-7

Week 17. Washington Redskins, Dec. 29, noon

The real treat will be to see if Adrian Peterson is still running. The Redskins will be out, the Cowboys will need a win to make the playoffs, and Jason Garrett can never die.

It’s early, but 9-7 looks plausible.

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