Fox keeps loooong Super Bowl pre-game show moving fast

The Super Bowl pre-game show, no matter the network, has become something of a national punchline for its sheer length. But does anyone really sit through the entire thing or is it just background noise until the kickoff?

I decided to sit through all four hours Sunday’s edition, which officially began at 1 p.m. on KDFW/Channel 4. That’s not counting the ‘unofficial’ Super Bowl pre-pre-game programming, which started at 10 a.m. I didn’t count the final 30 minutes leading up to the game since that’s normally part of any NFL game.

The NFL on Fox hosts, including the affable and sturdy Curt Menefee, along with Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan and Jimmy Johnson, presided over a fast-paced, non-stop, nearly segue-less carousel of features, red carpet celebrity interviews and taped one on ones with key players on the two super Bowl teams.

If you stuck with it — and didn’t bail for Kitten Bowl IV on Hallmark or Puppy Bowl XI on Animal Planet — you were rewarded with some outstanding features (and mini-features) about the host city Houston, Texas high school football and a clever history lesson by former Cowboys coach Wade Phillips on football in the Lone Star State.

If you missed it, here’s a breakdown on how the NFL On Fox filled over four hours of air time:

1 p.m.

The festivities begin with a filmed introduction called “The Greatest,” starring Muhammad Ali. It mixed real footage of Ali with filmed clips of him walking down the tunnel for various momentous fights while a narrator explained how one becomes “The Greatest.” Eventually, the clips turned to NFL Super Bowl legends, including the 1960s Packers, ‘70s Steelers, ‘80s 49ers, ‘90s Cowboys, John Elway’s Broncos and Tom Brady’s Patriots. It was well done, even if it felt like Ali was shoehorned into a football story.

1:04 p.m.

The NFL on FOX quintet started things off jovially on their set in downtown Houston in front of the George R. Brown Convention Center.

“Kind of keep an eye on me,” Bradshaw warned his teammates. “I’m used to only doing an hour show. If I drift, I drool.”

Menefee quipped: “If we get an hour out of him, I’ll consider that a win.”

A team of 16 broadcasters were stationed around Houston. Strahan, who attended Houston Westbury High School, said there’s “a lot of good food, a lot of good people. This is a very hospitable city, very diverse city.”

Phillips’ taped segment explained the history of football in Houston and Texas with the help of animation.

“Call it an obsession or maybe a religion,” Phillips said. “Show me a Houstonian without football pride and I'll pick up a mirror and show you a liar.”

1:12 p.m.

Erin Andrews offers the first report on the pending game from Falcons’ hotel which segues into a look at Atlanta’s high-powered offense.

1:15 p.m.

Andrew’s taped feature/interview with Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft, which includes music from Fort Worth’s Leon Bridges. “This whole situation could have and should have been handled differently,” Kraft said, when asked what it would mean for the Patriots’ fan base if NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was handing him the Lombardi trophy later that night in the wake of the deflategate fiasco during the AFC championship game two seasons ago.

1:18 p.m.

Chris Myers reports from the Patriots hotel before the NFL On FOX gang discuss Kraft’s bona fides.

1:24 p.m.

This is when the line between pre-game show and commercials starts to blur. A quick self-narrated profile of NFLRush.com/Play60 Super Kid winner Sophie Schneider included a cameo by former TCU quarterback Andy Dalton, who helped show Schneider how to hand the game ball to the referee.

1:29 to 1:32 p.m.

Back on the set with more game strategy. Jimmy Johnson explains how to cover Falcons’ receiver Julio Jones, which includes Bradshaw throwing a pass to a lucky fan.

1:35 p.m.

Comedian Keegan-Michael Key being interviewed on the red carpet by Charissa Thompson and Cooper Manning, did a Bill Belichick impression which consisted of staring stonefaced blankly into space. Nailed it.

1:41 p.m.

NFL insider Jay Glazer reports from inside NRG Stadium on Falcons’ offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan coaching his last game before leaving for 49ers head job.

1:43 p.m.

Katie Nolan offers her first Social Media Minute with all the important social media news, such as Gisele Bunchen’s tweet of daugher wearing dad’s jersey with “Brady’s Little Ladies” on the back and a tweet by Ludacris (from Atlanta) explaining how he and Mark Wahlberg (from Boston) are friends, but not today. Considering the pull of social media in sports today, Nolan’s updates seemed appropriate, if not completely newsworthy.

1:45 p.m.

A filmed segment with four former Rutgers players (three with the Patriots) competing in a game of trivia on their alma mater. Clever way to point out that it’s the most alumnus from one school playing in the Super Bowl.

1:49 p.m.

Back to the red carpet, which was apparently outside NRG Stadium, with “Hidden Figures” actress Taraji P. Henson. She was wearing an Adidas track suit gown with classic white Adidas shoes. It worked.

That was followed by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who said Boston has better food than Atlanta. Wait, what? No way, Gordo.

1:52 p.m.

The first serious moment of the pre-game show is a short feature on Houston Texans’ defensive back Devon Still, whose daughter Leah, 6, has been cancer free for two years.

1:58 p.m.

Brief feature on the lacrosse background of Patriots’ receiver Chris Hogan. Interesting, sorta.

2 p.m.

Pam Oliver’s taped piece on Texas high school football is probably the highlight of the entire pre-game show. It included interviews with Todd Dodge, who is now head coach at Austin Westlake after stints at Southlake Carroll and North Texas. Other Texas football luminaries on every level explained the aura of high school football in the state, including Drew Brees, Kevin Sumlin, Jerry Jones, Tom Herman and the state’s top recruit in 2017 Roshauud Paul. This packed a lot of information into a five-minute piece. Well done.

Upon returning to the set, Johnson and the gang extolled the greatness of Texas high school football and well they’re coached. “I played under Buckshot Underwood,” said Johnson, who grew up in Port Arthur. Clarence “Buckshot” Underwood ... like a character straight out of “Fright Night Lights.”

2:10 p.m.

Interviews with Usher and stars of the upcoming film CHIPS Michael Pena and Dax Shepard bring us back to the red carpet. These are likeable celebrities but at this point in the proceedings it’s getting a little annoying and smacks of unnecessary promotion. I loved the television show as a kid, but the film doesn’t come out until March 24. This day will be but a faint memory by then.

2:12 p.m.

A performance by Fit and the Tantrums doing a song gives most of the FOX crew a five minute bathroom or smoke break. That’s what it felt like anyway. No context was given. Not even sure where they were performing. Or maybe I just took a quick cat nap for a moment. Whatever.

2:16 p.m.

Back to NRG Stadium for a look at halftime performer Lady Gaga posing for pics at midfield. She looked strong and confident, like she was going to score big later. (She did. Great 13-minute show.)

2:24 p.m.

With Houston’s NASA roots, a feature on astronaut John Glenn, narrated by actor Gary Senise, seemed appropriate. The quick piece included Glenn’s senate proposal in the wake of the Browns leaving Cleveland for Baltimore in 1995.

2:26 p.m.

The NFL On Fox crew talk to astronauts Peggy Whitson (in Patriots jersey) and Shane Kimbrough (in Falcons jersey) who are traveling 17,500 mph over the South Pacific.

2:29 p.m.

Jimmy Johnson, dressed as a flight director at the actual NASA Mission Control, gives his keys to the game. Nice touch. I think we covered the Space City aspect of this thing.

After more strategy discussion, the gang says goodbye before heading from downtown to NRG Stadium, which is about a 10 minute drive with a police escort.

2:40 p.m.

Another Social Media Minute with Katie Nolan tells us that Tom Brady’s 5 million interactions on Facebook are a lot. Is there anything Brady doesn’t win at?

2:41 p.m.

“It’s just one A-list celebrity after another,” said Thompson before introducing English actor Tom Hardy, who was promoting his FX show “Taboo.” Hardy is a great actor, but A-list celebrity? C’mon. Hardy didn’t have a pick for the game but chose the Falcons because his dog Woodstock is from Atlanta. Good a reason as any.

Next on the carpet was Mark Wahlberg, a well-known Bostonian, who looked ready to suit up for the game. ‘Put me in the slot, baby, and throw me the ball,” he said to Cooper Manning. “I’m just glad your little brother isn’t here.” Good line. Good point.

2:43 p.m.

Play by play man Joe Buck makes his first appearance from NRG and gives viewers a look at the Lombardi Trophy before forcing some written banter with Glazer.

“Fox’s answer to Vin Diesel,” Buck said of Glazer. After Glazer feigned hurt feelings, Buck admitted, “They wrote that, I feel semi-compelled to read that stuff.” Cheers to Buck for being candidly funny.

2:51 p.m.

A serious, four-minute look at Colin Kaepernick’s national anthem protest during the 2016 season and how it shaped similar protests in other sports is put into perspective by current players, including the Seahawks’ Doug Baldwin and the Eagles’ Malcolm Jenkins, plus Hall of Famer and long-time activist Jim Brown.

“Agree with him or not, Colin Kapernick has done one thing, he has started a real conversation on this topic ... and for that he gets a lot of credit,” Buck said to close the piece.

3 p.m.

The unnecessary tradition of having a serious interview with the president during the Super Bowl pre-game show continued when Fox News Bill O'Reilly interviewed President Trump for 10 minutes. The only interesting news to come out of it was Trump defending his respect for Russia’s Vladimir Putin by countering O’Reilly’s assessment that Putin is a killer, with “We’ve got a lot of killers, you think our country is so innocent?” Okay.

3:14 p.m.

Strahan interviews Lady Gaga, which reveals almost nothing about the performer. Gaga said she watched all past halftime performances to get ideas, including Michael Jackson and Bruce Springsteen. She didn’t mention U2’s 2002 performance, so she’s docked some points. Sorry, Gaga.

3:17 p.m.

More red carpet lameness. Stars of “24: Legacy,” which premiered on Fox after the game, Corey Hawkins and Jimmy Smits. That was followed by a red carpet interview with Jon Landua, producer of Avatar and Titanic, who apparently won a contest to appear on the Super Bowl red carpet. He was promoting the opening of an Orlando theme park called Pandora, The World of Avatar. Does anyone care about Avatar anymore? Utterly confusing.

3:21 p.m.

Another Katie Nolan Social Media Minute, this time on all the Lady Gaga social media posts. “Don't stop tweetin,” she said to the dismay of a million confused 65-year-old football fans in the heartland.

3:24 p.m.

Jimmy Kimmel, promos OSCARS, with the Foxcars, where he made fun of the NFL On Fox foursome’s cameos in films. Bradshaw won for his turn in the 1978 Burt Reynolds’ film Hooper. Underrated comedy, by the way. The other contenders were Long in Broken Arrow, Johnson in The Waterboy and Strahan in XXL.

3:30 p.m.

Erin Andrews interviews Falcons’ receiver Julio Jones, who downplays his foot injury and defends his physical style of play. The piece segues into more discussion by the crew on Jones and the Falcons offense.

3:39 p.m.

Red carpet interview with “Black-ish” actor Anthony Anderson, who predicted “a great game” while pulling for Atlanta.

3:41 p.m.

A performance of “My Old Man” by the Zac Brown Band is poignant but the audio feed didn’t sound as if it was plugged straight into the Fox board. Good little song, though, about a son admiring his dad.

After a commercial, a fitting transition to a feature on Howie Long’s son Chris, who is a defensive end for the Patriots. Mom Diane Long even joined the set after the piece. It also highlighted his work with waterboys.org, which helps provide clean water to African countries.

4 p.m.

A feature on the Falcons using Navy Seals training for team building.

4:08 p.m.

A Belichick feature, comparing him to Vince Lombardi, which inexplicably used Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer” is followed by an interview with Jimmy Johnson. As usual, Belichick, who is coaching his seventh Super Bowl, says very little.

“Every one of these games is special,” he said. “There's nothing better than winning a Super Bowl championship. You know that,” he said to Johnson.

4:23 p.m.

Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan is interviewed by Thompson in a taped segment.

4:28 p.m.

In arguably the funniest moment of the pre-game, a segment called “Letters to Tom Brady” includes celebrity Patriots fans professing their undying love for Brady. The starts include Don Wahlberg, Jon Bon Jovi, Michael Chiklis and Conan O’Brien, who stole the show with an over-the-top obsession for the Patriots’ quarterback.

4:36 p.m.

Bradshaw interviews Brady. Okay, we get it. He’s the GOAT. Zzzzzzzz.

4:45 p.m.

Rob Riggle, Aaron Paul, Ken Jeong, Kristen Bell, Weird Al and John Travolta, among others, lament their teams missing out on the Super Bowl with a parody of Garth Brook’s “Friends In Low Places.” Funny stuff.

4:48 p.m.

We’re getting to the nitty gritty now. The crew makes their picks.

Jimmy Johnson: Pats

Howie Long: Pats

Michael Strahan: Falcons

Terry Bradshaw: Pats

4:53 p.m.

A mini film using Johnny Cash’s 1974 song “Ragged Old Flag” is used in a hopeful attempt to show that our country isn’t as politically divided as the current climate would have you believe. I love Cash. I love the song. I love our flag. I love our country. But ... this seemed forced. Perhaps better used on the Fourth of July.

This story was originally published February 6, 2017 at 3:50 AM with the headline "Fox keeps loooong Super Bowl pre-game show moving fast."