The world finds humor in Ethan Couch, but it’s not funny here

When the BBC World Service called here late one night, at morning rush hour in London, the anchor had three questions for a Texas newspaper.

In the expected BBC British accent, she asked very drily:

▪ “So — what is this affluenza?”

▪ “This boy, Ethan Couch — you’re saying he ran off — with his mother?”

▪ “The victims — this must be quite upsetting for them, and quite an embarrassment for you all, isn’t it?”

In order:

It’s a word one witness used only casually in an offhand comment, but it has turned into headline gold.

Yes.

And definitely.

On New Year’s Eve, I must admit I laughed when comedian and CNN New Year’s Eve Live party co-host Kathy Griffin teased fellow co-host Anderson Cooper, Gloria Vanderbilt’s son: “What is it like living with affluenza? … Were you & your mom ever tempted to do a spree of some kind?”

Or when The New Yorker cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz, a degreed physician and Columbia lecturer, drew a doctor giving a mustachioed young patient his test result.

“You tested negative for affluenza,” the doctor said, “but positive for hepatitis b.s.”

But the joke’s on us in Texas, Tarrant and Johnson County. The Couch family keeps on laughing at the justice system here.

Couch laughed at the terms of his juvenile probation. He was given a chance for treatment and probation after his drunken driving killed four innocent people and seriously injured two more, but he didn’t bother to comply with rules or even to report.

Then his mother, Tonya Pope Couch, laughed at the state of Texas and swept him away to a Mexico beach. She’ll be back this week to face a charge of hindering apprehension.

Back in July 2014, father and Lakeside sheet metal magnate Fred Couch had his own laugh. According to North Richland Hills police, he claimed to be a law officer.

At 1:15 a.m. on a Monday, according to the police report, officers interviewed Couch at a disturbance call and he identified himself as a Lakeside city reserve officer. He even said, “I have my Lakeside police stuff in the truck.”

One of the real officers had worked in Lakeside and knew better. But Couch produced a badge and credentials that looked official, police said.

Turns out Couch was never an officer, Lakeside Police Chief Lee Pitts said the other day. His credentials were for a long-ago Lakeside volunteer search-and-rescue team.

“At some point years ago — nobody even remembers — they had this unit, all volunteers,” said Pitts, the chief for nine years.

“But they were never certified as peace officers. Nobody ever meant it that way.”

Only Tonya Couch has a recent conviction record as an adult. She completed a six-month probation on a 2003 Class B misdemeanor reckless-driving charge.

We might laugh at the Couches. But we don’t find DWI funny — or being ridiculed.

This story was originally published January 2, 2016 at 4:30 PM with the headline "The world finds humor in Ethan Couch, but it’s not funny here."