‘I still cry’: Joel Burns reflects on viral 2010 anti-bullying speech for LGBTQ youth
Something had been eating at Joel Burns for months.
Week after week he read news reports about teenagers ending their lives. Most were LGBTQ or perceived to be gay. All faced bullying and harassment.
This was 2010 and Burns said there seemed to be a rash of suicides among young people, either because of a real spike or because of a renewed focus on teen mental health. The stories struck him deeply. Burns, the first openly gay politician elected in Tarrant County, had been keeping a secret — at 13 he contemplated suicide after a spate of bullying at school.
“I kept waiting for the person whose responsibility it was to make this better and fix this, to do something to make me feel better, to reassure kids,” he said. “Then of course I also had this very private thing that I never told anyone that was this kind of deep down thing that was being triggered by these revelations just week after week.”
After reading about a Norman, Oklahoma, teen who killed himself, Burns decided he should speak up. During a heart-wrenching speech at the Oct. 12, 2010, council meeting, Burns displayed the names and photos of several young people who had recently died by suicide. Though he struggled through tears to complete his words, his message was of hope — “life will get so, so, so much better,” he said.
Quickly the speech went viral, reaching more than 1 million people by the end of the week. Burns appeared on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” and was invited to an anti-bullying panel at the White House under President Barack Obama. Today the video has more than 3 million views.
Burns’ speech was included in the It Gets Better Project, a series of videos meant to support LGBT youth and prevent suicide. The project was started by Dan Savage, the LGBT activist and relationship columnist, and his husband, Terry Miller. Burns said he wasn’t aware of the It Gets Better Project and didn’t intend for the speech to reach viral proportions.
Suicide rates among young people have continued to climb, according to a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The rate increased nearly 60% among those 10 to 24 between 2007 and 2018. The report compared three-year averages of suicide rates for 2007–2009 and 2016–2018. The CDC also noted that LGBTQ middle and high schoolers are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide as their peers.
A decade later, It Gets Better is revisiting some of the original series in “10 Years Better,” an online series featuring TV host Emile Ennis Jr. Burns and Ennis chat about his speech in a video posted on Thursday.
Ross von Metzke, a spokesperson for the It Gets Better Project, said he hopes youth who didn’t see the original video will find hope in the “10 Years Better” reflection.
“His story was filled with hope for LGBTQ+ youth who might be listening, and he shared it in a space where people typically don’t lead with emotion,” van Metzke said in an emailed statement. “Joel inspired and potentially saved countless young people with that speech.”
City Council speech
Ahead of the Fort Worth City Council meeting, Burns read the story of Zach Harrington, a 19-year-old Norman man who had ended his life following a council meeting there. The meeting was intended to proclaim October as LGBTQ History Month, according to Star-Telegram archives, but prompted a debate that included disparaging remarks about Harrington.
It was one of several stories of teen suicide Burns had read in 2010. He had considered speaking out about bullying and teen suicide, but wasn’t sure it was his place as a councilman, he said. His focus was on other issues facing District 9 residents.
This story was the last he could take, Burns said, and he decided he would devote his typical council member presentation time to the issue. He abruptly left a council work session to prepare comments for that evening’s meeting.
Burns said he wrote one draft and left it mostly unedited. His husband, J.D. Angle, had advised against the speech, wanting Burns to workshop the language and not make the decision to speak out too quickly.
“It was very raw, very real, very much what I was feeling at the moment,” Burns said. “I hadn’t seen it in so many years, and I watched it before I did this interview with the It Gets Better folks. ... When I was talking about my mom and dad, I still cry every time.”
During the speech, Burns skips over directly saying he considered suicide at 13. That dark time was unknown to anyone in his life, including his parents and his husband. During a break and before a 10 p.m. news broadcast, Burns said he phoned his parents to tell them about his childhood trauma.
Burns uploaded the speech to a YouTube page with a few followers the next morning. Following TV reports, the video took off, gaining 1 million page views. His phone and inbox were quickly filled with supportive messages and cries for help.
Burns described the experience as “both gratifying and a little horrific.”
In the “10 Years Better” video, Burns recalled receiving a letter in the mail that was simply addressed “Joel Burns Fort Worth” with no return address. The envelope contained a simple message that the sender had intended to write a suicide note but burned it after hearing Burns’ speech.
He told the Star-Telegram about a late-night voicemail he received from someone needing help. His return calls went unanswered until finally the number was disconnected.
“That’s haunting, like I have no idea what happened,” he said.
In the years immediately following his speech, Burns worked with the Fort Worth school district on “It’s Not OK” anti-bullying curriculum and programming. He also appeared on national television and sat on Obama Administration panels.
But the relationships Burns has built over his life and the decade since the video are the highlights for him as he continues to spread a message of hope. He and his husband have built a life together, hosting exchange students and a foster child who had previously been homeless — cherished experiences he didn’t dream of as a young man.
“I’m a part of people’s lives in ways I couldn’t imagine as a 13-year-old,” he said.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Knowing the warning signs for suicide and how to get help can save lives. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can help. Call 800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
This story was originally published November 20, 2020 at 6:00 AM.
