'Every day is a hard day for me.' Fallen Dallas police officer's mother speaks out

Time does not heal all wounds, said Valerie Zamarripa, mother of a Dallas police officer slain in an ambush that killed five police officers two years ago.

Her son, Patrick Zamarripa, 32, was killed by the sniper who ambushed police in Dallas on July 7, 2016. The others who died that day were Sr. Cpl. Lorne Ahrens, 48, Dallas police; officer Michael Krol, 40, Dallas police; Sgt. Michael Smith, 55, Dallas police; and Brent Thompson, 43, DART police.

Zamarripa, 56, of Fort Worth, said she keeps in touch with the friends and family members of the other slain officers and that they provide her with support and companionship, understanding hearts and firm shoulders to cry on.

But the pain from her loss is still too great to stop her tears.

"Instead of it getting easier it's getting harder," Zamarripa said. "I miss my baby every day. I pray every day and I cry every day. It hurts like no pain I can ever explain. I wish this on no one at all. Every day is a hard day for me, personally."

Her son's co-workers are members of her family now. They are constantly in contact, Zamarippa said. But the way these relationships were forged, beneath the shroud of the lost lives of beloved sons, was terrible, Zamarripa said.

"I love my blue family but I hate the way we have become family," she said. "It's hard to think about what happened and to know what has happened in this world."

Zamarripa said she avoids listening to the news because it is too depressing, still she picks up bits an pieces here and there, and remembers her son and the things he hoped to accomplish.

"He was a good cop," she said. "He only wanted to help."

It was by chance that Zamarripa heard the news that Dallas Police officer Rogelio Santander had been shot and later died from gunshot wounds sustained during a call to a Dallas Home Depot in April.

"When I heard about Santander, it brought back the same feelings that I went through two years ago," she said. "Another young man taken too soon."

The one thing that eases her pain is being with her grandchildren, Zamarripa said. Her granddaughter Lyncoln has some of the same traits and some of the same physical characteristics as her son. Patrick Zamarripa's step-son, Dylan, still talks a lot about his step-father, Zamarripa said. Dylan looked up to her son.

"These officers, these first responders, respect them, honor them," Zamarripa said. "They go out on a limb every day for each and every one of us. The homeless, even the drug dealers, everyone calls the police when something is not going right and the first responders are going to be there when you call.

"All of them, fire, police, paramedics, they have families. When they are not in uniform they are regular people and their families love them."

This story was originally published July 7, 2018 at 3:14 PM with the headline "'Every day is a hard day for me.' Fallen Dallas police officer's mother speaks out."