‘Kickboxer: Vengeance’ refuses to go down for the count

You have to marvel at a film that seems to have so little faith in its audience’s literacy that its brief use of English-language subtitles consists of lettering large enough for a freeway billboard. That’s just one of the quirks that pushes Kickboxer: Vengeance, the fifth installment/reboot of a franchise that’s been alive and kicking since 1989, almost into so-bad-it’s-good movie nirvana.

Stunt man-turned-actor Alain Moussi (X-Men: Apocalypse, Suicide Squad) is Kurt Sloane, the character who helped make Jean-Claude Van Damme an action star in the late ’80s. Kickboxer Sloane and his champion fighter brother, Eric (Darren Shahlavi), are running a gym in L.A. when they’re approached by sinister fight promoter Marcia (MMA champ-turned-actress Gina Carano), who, if she could grow a moustache, would probably be twirling it. She says she can get Eric a big payday if he takes on the evil Tong Po (Dave Bautista, Guardians of the Galaxy) in an underground Muay Thai match in Thailand.

But that payday costs Eric his life — Tong Po murders him in the ring — and that lights the fire of Kurt’s revenge. But in order to have any hope of defeating Tong Po, a brick wall of a man with an entire school of well-muscled zealots at his disposal, Kurt becomes a student of Master Durand (Van Damme), a kickboxer so zen that he rarely removes his shades or jaunty porkpie hat even when he’s serving up an epic beatdown.

Director John Stockwell (Into the Blue, Blue Crush) doesn’t seem to take much of this too seriously, and that’s for the best. No one can hold a grudge against a movie where guys fight on top of elephants. In fact, about 90 percent of the movie consists of training or combat, something that will please the film’s audience.

And one of those scenes that doesn’t involve killing or maiming — the closing-credit sequence showcasing Moussi and Van Damme’s dancing skills — is almost worth a matinee price of admission by itself.

This helps make the acting that’s so wooden it should be on sale at a lumber yard and the awkward sex (because, of course, Kurt has to seduce the female detective investigating his brother’s death) easier to take. And, in a world where CGI has sapped so many action movies of their souls, Kickboxer: Vengeance’s lo-fi, ’80s-style, mano-a-mano simplicity is surprisingly refreshing.

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This story was originally published September 1, 2016 at 10:28 AM with the headline "‘Kickboxer: Vengeance’ refuses to go down for the count."