‘The Kitchen Witches’ isn’t as tasty as it could be

The Kitchen Witches, a sharply seasoned comedy that opened at Onstage in Bedford on Friday, features a couple of able cooks. But the recipe it uses does not always please the palate.

This food-driven snark fest, written by Caroline Smith, focuses on a pair of chefs at the bottom of the television food chain. Dolly Biddle (Lana K. Hoover) has a cable-access cooking show that she calls Baking With Babcha, a trumped-up persona, complete with costuming and an accent, to disguise the fact that she is actually from Wichita Falls.

Things start to get interesting when Dolly’s longtime rival, Isobel Lomax (Sherry Etzel), crashes the final episode of the show and hurls a barrage of insults that Dolly returns as deftly as tennis serves. Then, faster than you can say bon appetit, the squabbling chefs are asked to do a much higher-profile show together because their on-air fight was so entertaining.

The pair is then tossed into the kitchen with only the show’s producer, Stephen (Andrew Christian), who is introduced to us as Dolly’s son, to referee what promises to be the culinary equivalent of mixed martial arts cage fighting.

The strengths of this show are Hoover and Etzel. These highly accomplished actresses work together frequently, and it shows. The timing with which they land their comic punches is as crisp as fresh celery. Under the guidance of director Mike Hathaway, they realize the full potential of their roles.

Also worthy of note is the busy, well-designed set by Alex Krus.

But the problem with The Kitchen Witches is that Hoover and Etzel do not have enough to work with. This clunky script lands its comedy with well-telegraphed hammer blows, rather than any real wit. And the play does itself no favors with its abrupt (and somewhat absurd) right turns into sappy pathos in a few places.

It also misses the obvious opportunity to be a treat for foodies. Rather than wallow in mouth-watering food references, as you might think a show built on this topic would, the few food items mentioned in the script are of no interest to a gastronome.

But in its defense, this slight show does not pretend to be anything more than a fun romp intended to please the widest possible audience.

There are certainly some guffaws to be had in this slightly dangerous kitchen (should these women be allowed to handle knives?), thanks to its leads. Just be aware that some may find the meals it serves to be a taco or two short of the el grande platter.

This story was originally published May 22, 2016 at 11:26 AM with the headline "‘The Kitchen Witches’ isn’t as tasty as it could be."