Movie review: No love for ‘Rio, I Love You’

There are more than 6 million potential love stories in Rio de Janeiro. Unfortunately, none of the 10 that have been assembled in the anthology film Rio, I Love You is any good.

Ten directors have created 10 interwoven vignettes that, for nearly two hours, provide moments of mild amusement, tepid melodrama and, for relief, great music. La Fortuna, from director Paolo Sorrentino (The Great Beauty) is typical of the film’s misfires. Dorothy (Emily Mortimer) is a former model who thinks that her wealthy older husband (Basil Hoffman) may have died during their flight to Rio. To her chagrin, he’s merely asleep, and he gets the last laugh. It’s a sitcom setup, but as the entire tale unfolds in less than 10 minutes, it’s a sitcom for people with short attention spans.

That failed segment spotlights what little Rio, I Love You has to offer: beautiful scenery and a terrific soundtrack, in this case Luiz Gonzaga’s vibrant 1974 dance number O Fole Roncou. But despite the nod to local music, there’s no compelling reason to set this episode in Brazil.

The same goes for When There Is No More Love, written and directed by John Turturro, who also stars as a man squabbling with his lover (Vanessa Paradis) in a modest island home that could be anywhere.

Notably, none of the actors or directors of those two segments is, in fact, Brazilian. Unfortunately, the directors who are don’t fare much better. Fernando Meirelles (City of God) directs Vincent Cassel as Zé, a beach bum who makes a sand sculpture of Rodin’s “The Kiss.” He tears this down when he sees a beautiful young woman on the boardwalk, and builds a grotesque sculpture of her feet. Believe it or not, this segment is called The Muse.

With 10 directors, incoherence is a concern. But shifting tones are not the problem here. The film’s editors weave the strands of this scattered tapestry as well as can be expected, and the film is wonderful to look at. It’s just that the writing is consistently terrible.

And let’s not even get into the vampire story.

The film gives us one character who might actually have a dramatic inner life. Directed by Andrucha Waddington, Mrs. Nobody follows a homeless woman (Fernanda Montenegro, so terrific in Central Station) whose reasons for going off the grid are never stated. Her grandson Leandro (Eduardo Sterblitch) approaches her, telling her his family told him she was dead. The segment ends with them walking into a public fountain, a baptism of cheap sentiment.

Rio, I Love You is the third film in the “Cities of Love” series, after Paris, Je t’Aime and New York, I Love You. If this latest installment is any indication, all that jet-setting should be avoided. You can have just as much fun staying home.

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This story was originally published May 13, 2016 at 8:38 AM with the headline "Movie review: No love for ‘Rio, I Love You’."