‘The Real Housewives of Dallas’ recap, episode 3: Lee Anne in Bow-livia
“Bow at me!”
America has a new catchphrase and, yes, it’s pronounced like the “bow” in “bow and arrow,” not like the “bow” in “bow before me,” though, with the women of The Real Housewives of Dallas, that might apply too.
Lee Anne hauled it out of her no doubt massive bag of carny threats while having lunch at Breadwinners on Lovers Lane with Stephanie and Cary. See, she’s still steaming -- pun very much intended -- over the fake-poo chapeau Brandi wore to the Mad Hatters fund-raising affair last week. And she views these two as being partners in Brandi’s crime against humanity, charities and Dallas, not necessarily in that order.
But they didn’t take well to her Lee Anne-splaining to them about their juvenile behavior. Cary even accuses Lee Anne of being an impostor of sorts, saying that Dallas society is something you have to be born into, not climb into on the ladder of ambition. That’s when Lee Anne turns into Galvitron when faced with an uncooperative Optimus Prime. She goes off! “Bow at me and I will bow back,” she declares, and then ends with a barking, “bow at me!”
Bravo, in their infinite wisdom, knew much of America would go racing to the Internet to get the lowdown on the bow threat and they kindly had an entire page devoted to its origin. It’s defined as: “Southern Slang for body language interpreted as puffing up as if preparing to fight someone.”
Judging from the trailer, the puffing up will continue next week. The bow goes on.
In LaBare Tonight
Brandi, Stephanie, and Cary -- getting their day-drunk on over lunch at Bistro 21 in Highland Park Village -- decide to go to a male strip club. Of course, that means La Bare where Brandi proceeds to get “white girl wasted” -- her words -- and become part of the act.
That does not go down well with her husband, Bryan, who has an as yet unidentified profession in which he has to travel all the time and apparently will offer him the opportunity to be a millionaire by the time he’s 40.
Sober Brandi is reduced to crying because of Bryan’s disapproval. And, no doubt, when frenemy Lee Anne hears about it, she will gladly drink from Brandi’s Big Gulp of tears.
Up side: For once, Brandi’s not talking about poo.
Who are you wearing?
When Tiffany is not fretting about how she’s going to keep her Aussie-by-way-of-LA, singer-songwriter-ish husband, Aaron, in Dallas -- apparently that’s a full-time job -- she’s making segments for her video blog, Sanctuary of Style. The point of the show is for her to take a woman into her closet and have her talk about her clothes.
Her guests this week are fellow Housewife Cary and her husband, Mark the surgeon, who turns out to know more about his wife’s clothes than she does. Other Housewives franchises have male significant others who get involved in “women’s bidness” but this may be the first one who gets involved in women’s fashion bidness.
But think about the children!
Stephanie and Brandi find it funny when four of their children are all crowded into a toy car and driving down the sidewalk -- with two of the kids sitting awkwardly on “the trunk” meaning any bump could have thrown them to the pavement.
The scary part is that maybe it’s an indication of how these moms drive their real cars -- down the Tollway, at rush hour.
Stock shot
Only one shot of the Fort Worth Stockyards this week. Slowly, maybe someone at Bravo is finally learning that Fort Worth is not a neighborhood in Dallas.
This story was originally published April 26, 2016 at 7:50 AM with the headline "‘The Real Housewives of Dallas’ recap, episode 3: Lee Anne in Bow-livia."