Not a fan of Super Bowl? TV has other players
As hard as it might be to believe, some people don’t want to watch the Super Bowl.
They have little enthusiasm for the big game — this year between the Carolina Panthers and Denver Broncos at 5:30 p.m. Sunday on CBS — and even less interest in enduring hours of pre-game hype.
Halftime performers Coldplay and Beyonce don’t float their boat.
And even if they feel compelled to screen the expensive commercials ($5 million for 30 seconds of air time), viewers can view most of them online, in advance, on YouTube’s Super Bowl AdBlitz website.
It is for these people who prefer to watch something else, anything else, that we offer this non-Super Bowl Sunday viewers guide.
Going to the dogs
Puppy Bowl XII, Animal Planet’s precious counterprogramming stunt of frolicking furballs and groan-inducing dogs-playing-football puns, has become an annual tradition and a ratings powerhouse.
This year’s two-hour telecast, beginning at 2 p.m., pits Team Ruff vs. Team Fluff, with a starting lineup of 49 adoptable canines competing for MVP (Most Valuable Puppy) honors.
Referee Dan Schachner dons the zebra shirt again — and this year is helped by special assistant ref Stanley the Skunk. Rooting from the sidelines are five Silkie chicken cheerleaders, while TV correspondent (and animal advocate) Jill Rappaport introduces “Pup Close and Personal” segments.
Meep the Bird returns to tweet live updates, and there will be a kitty halftime show.
Puppy Bowl “Tailgaters” can tune in at 1:30 p.m. for a pre-game show. The 2 p.m. show will rerun five more times throughout the day.
Cats but not Panthers
Kitten Bowl III, Hallmark Channel’s third annual feline answer to Puppy Bowl proceedings, begins at 11 a.m.
The three-hour telecast is hosted by Beth Stern (wife of Howard Stern and national spokesperson for North Shore Animal League America). John Sterling and Mary Carillo are play-by-play announcers.
There will be special guest appearances by Feline Football League Commissioner Boomer Esiason (a former Cincinnati Bengal), comedians Kevin Nealon and Brad Garrett and Hallmark Channel Pet Ambassadors Happy the Cat and Happy the Dog.
As is the case with the Puppy Bowl roster, the cute cats on the field are available for adoption.
There will be immediate reruns at 2 and 5 p.m.
Something fishy
To celebrate the Super Bowl’s milestone 50th, Nat Geo Wild gives us Fish Bowl XXL, putting Goldie the goldfish in an XXL (as in extra-extra large) 50-gallon fish bowl, for a zen viewing alternative.
This year’s two-hour telecast, beginning at 5 p.m. and repeating at 7 p.m., teams Goldie up with a clown fish, a puffer fish, seahorses, eels, sting rays and even a shark.
Speaking of sharks, the pre-game programming is six hours of When Sharks Attack-type specials.
Tosh spice
Comedian Daniel Tosh is making a mockery of Super Bowl commercials.
The funny man says Comedy Central gave him $1 million to make a commercial promoting the new season of Tosh.0, premiering at 9 p.m. Tuesday, but he spent the money on something else. So he asked viewers to make commercials, the best of which will be aired on the network during the game.
One catch: They won’t air on CBS. They’ll air on Comedy Central, which is playing a “Smoke a Bowl Sunday & Ultimate Hashtime Show” movie marathon beginning at noon. The flicks include Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay and Pineapple Express.
A pre-game Tosh.0 marathon, with episodes that have football-themed segments, begins at 7 a.m.
More alternatives
Detectivision: USA presents 13 hours of “heinous” crimes in a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit marathon that begins at 9 a.m. … WEtv counters with 11 hours of CSI: Miami starting at 3 p.m. … Ion counts down 18 hours of Numb3rs, beginning at 8 a.m. … Esquire shows four hours of NCIS: Los Angeles, beginning at 6 p.m. … The Audience network airs five hours of NYPD Blue at 2 p.m.
True crime: Spike TV airs 14 hours of Cops beginning at 10 a.m. … The Investigation Discovery network serves up 17 hours of vintage Dateline cases, starting at noon. … Oxygen’s 10-hour Snapped marathon begins at 11 a.m. … CNN’s eight-hour marathon of The Hunt With John Walsh begins at 5 p.m. … Headline News has 18 straight hours of Forensic Files starting at 11 a.m.
Reality TV: E!’s 12-hour Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon begins at 9 a.m. … Bravo counters with16 hours of Real Housewives of Potomac and Real Housewives of Atlanta, also starting at 9 a.m. … A&E’s Hoarders marathon, 12 hours to record and keep forever, begins at 2 p.m. … UP TV’s Bringing Up Bates marathon begins at 9 a.m. … VH1’s weekend Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta-thon continues until 5 a.m. Monday.
Super binges: The Walking Dead, AMC, 8 a.m., 20 hours; Supernatural, TNT, 11 a.m., 12 hours; Star Trek: The Next Generation, BBC America, 11 a.m., 20 hours; How I Met Your Mother, WGN, 11 a.m., 13 hours; Sanford & Son, TVOne, 1 p.m., eight hours; New Girl, TBS, 5 p.m., five hours; Reba, TV Land, 3 p.m., five hours; Tyler Perry’s House of Payne, BET, noon, 10 hours; MythBusters, Science, 6 p.m., eight hours; Property Brothers, HGTV, noon, seven hours; Barnwood Builders, DIY, 3 p.m., 12 hours; Untold Stories of the ER, Discovery Life, noon, 13 hours; Married at First Sight, FYI, noon, 15 hours.; Ancient Aliens, H2, 5 p.m., 10 hours; A Haunting, Destination America, 9 a.m., 20 hours; D-Day to Victory, American Heroes Channel, 1 p.m., 6 hours.
This story was originally published February 3, 2016 at 10:59 AM with the headline "Not a fan of Super Bowl? TV has other players."