‘Garden of Small Beginnings’ a tale of finding the good in grief

Death and grief are an irrefutable part of life. There are stages of grief that are supposed to lead the bereaved to a new normal. But sometimes, people get caught in a cocoon of sorrow that holds them in place.

This is the world Lilian Girvan inhabits in “The Garden of Small Beginnings.”

But don’t be put off by the topic — this isn’t a maudlin tear-jerker. Instead, Abbi Waxman’s debut novel is a story of rebirth as Lili begins to find her footing nearly four years after her husband, Dan, died steps away from their home in a car wreck.

Waxman is a former copywriter and creative director at London- and New York-based ad agencies. Her writing is clever and the storytelling is engaging. The characters are authentic and quirky. This book should definitely make the cut for summer reading lists.

According to Waxman’s publicist, several years ago, the author began to think about how a spouse’s death leaves a tangle of heartbreak.

While society tends to focus on the person closest to the deceased, this is a testament to layers of life and the intersections that bring people together. Dan wasn’t just Lili’s husband, he was a father, son, brother and brother-in-law. Lili’s grief is most acute, but it isn’t hers exclusively.

The story is told in first person by Lili — over a six-week period that’s tied to a gardening class. She has a wry sense of humor and is fairly honest and open. The 30-something illustrator is raising daughters Annabel, who was 3 when her father died, and Clare, who was an infant. Lili’s younger sister, Rachel, has been her anchor since Dan’s death.

Lili is commissioned to illustrate a book on gardening. Part of the assignment involves taking a Saturday morning gardening class. She plans to go by herself, leaving the children with Rachel. But they all decide to tag along. Her entourage only grows as she connects with others in the class.

The class is taught by Edward, the first man Lili has been attracted to since Dan’s death, and is filled with colorful characters who break down her barriers. Rachel, who’s been encouraging Lili to begin dating again, recognizes that her sister has become secure in her grief.

Of course this isn’t a revelation to Lili. At one point, her therapist suggests, “There is something comfortable for you in the life you’ve built, even though you’re deeply sad still, and lonely. It’s a rut, but it’s your rut; do you know what I mean?”

The narrative centers around Lili’s journey out of the rut.

The story reflects on the everyday issues of adult life — from infidelity and divorce, to layoffs and outsourcing of jobs. The relationships are authentic, down to the bickering between the pairs of sisters.

Gardeners get an added bonus with the tips that precede each chapter. The advice ranges from “The Chemistry of Soil” to “How To Grow Garlic” and “Making Peace With Insects.”

Waxman gently reminds readers that life continues even when death interrupts. Lili’s grief doesn’t stop her from making catty remarks to Rachel about her sexual history, nor does it stop their self-absorbed mother from belittling her daughters every chance she gets.

Waxman creates a world in which family dysfunction and the dynamics that come with it are merely part of life, and there are no easy fixes. Instead, the gardening metaphor suggests creating a world of nurturing and care.

This story was originally published May 11, 2017 at 3:37 PM with the headline "‘Garden of Small Beginnings’ a tale of finding the good in grief."