In an effort to embrace corporate America’s increased outscouring of jobs, I have pawned off the following blog/column/movie review of “The Secret Life of Pets,” to my seven-year daughter, Vivian.
No child labor laws were violated ... or at least not that many, although she has said she has a “poor” life; the EEOC or the Department of Labor may be calling shortly.
Vivian Engel: 1st grade. Summer brake. Going to second grade. 1st colim. Enjoy.
The Secret Life of Pets
The Secret Life of Pets was good because a lot of reason’s. I thought wow it seams really funny. I love pets. Their were a lot. Another reason was that their was a happy ending.
So Duke and Max (who are two dogs) are trying to find Katie (their owner). But they are lost. So they were hunted and caught by animal control. But Snowball (a bunny voiced by Kevin Hart, who steals the movie) saved them. But he then tried to kill them. But Duke killed the snake.
The gang of Snowball (a fleet of animals that live underneath New York City) tryed to chase Max and Duke. But they survived. Then they went to a sausage party and ate a lot of sausages. Then they got picked up by Animal Control. Duke only got picked up. Max went to save Duke.
Then Snowball and Max set off to find Duke.
Duke, Max and Snowball all fell off the Brooklin Bridge. They all survived. Giget (another small dog, voiced by Jenny Slate) killed the bad guys. Then Snowball was taken by a girl.
And Max and Duke lived hapily ever after.
Those are the reasons “The Secret Life of Pets” was great.
I could elaborate but, sadly, this is better than the alternative - my own words. “The Secret Life of Pets” is a fun summer movie for kids that will kill a few hours.