The Big Mac Blog

Nerd alert: The strange allure of waiting in line for the iPhone6s

The line at 11:30 a.m. outside of the Apple Store in Fort Worth; customers were waiting to buy the new iPhone 6.
The line at 11:30 a.m. outside of the Apple Store in Fort Worth; customers were waiting to buy the new iPhone 6. Star-Telegram

The line to the left is for the people that had reservations at 11 a.m.; the time stamp on this picture is 11:28 a.m. The line on the right is for the people who don’t have reservations.

All of this is for a phone.

The moral of this story? Buy the phone when there is not a line. It’s a phone. There were people that slept outside - in the dark, at night - so they could buy a phone that costs $650.

You wait in line to buy Taylor Swift tickets; you love T-Swift because she’s so real. You wait in line to meet Chewbacca. You wait in line to get your son/daughter into the super exclusive after-school activity that means you are a superior parent and not that self-important so-and-so that sends the nanny to do stuff with her kid that you do yourself.

You wait in line for things that are limited, and one time only. You do not wait in line to buy a phone that Apple is producing enough of to fill the Pacific Ocean.

It was Keyser Sose who said, “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” And it is Mac Engel who said, “The greatest trick Steve Jobs ever pulled was creating a line of products the world does not need, but cannot live without.”

Even though Mr. Jobs is no longer with us, his legacy waiting in line for over-priced products that we don’t need but would die in their absence is intact.

This morning at Apple Stores all over the world, the new iPhone 6s was finally made available. Thank you God.

According some of the people standing outside of the store waiting for the chance to blow about $649 on a phone, ($749 for the 6S-plus) hopeful customers began to line up at 11. That’s p.m. The Apple nerd inside the store said they were hopeful they would not run out of this new product by the time the store closed at 9 ... fingers crossed!

One of the customers, Manny, said the store is allowing patient customers to buy two. He has no idea what the new phone does. He doesn’t care.

“I’m going to sell them,” Manny said.

You the Manny! High-five. Capitalism does work.

What does the iPhone 6s do that the other, horrible, wretched and antiquated iPhones cannot? Why is The 6S worth this hellish wait?

You can make phone calls, text and a bunch of other crap that ensures you don’t ever have to talk to your son or daughter at the dinner table, playground, in the car, in church, on the plane, and at a wedding until the end of time.

The iPhone6s has 3D touch, and an upgraded processor ... whatever that means. It has an upgraded camera, but not upgraded enough that the lens still reflects the fact that you need to lose 10 pounds, at least. The Six allows you take moving pictures, too.

Until iPhone can read minds, and tell me how to live my life, I have no interest in an upgrade.

Whatever The Six can or can’t do is irrelevant. The hype and anticipation of a new Apple product has become a thing in our culture, so we wait for it like some Pavlovian dog: Apple dings, and the dogs come running.