Baker Mayfield needs to change his name to Job. That Job.
First he was ignored coming out of high school (Mayfield, not Job). Baker had to walk on, twice, to play college ball. Now he has no choice but to go to Cleveland, Ohio.
Exactly what has Baker Mayfield done in this life, or previous lifetimes, to deserve this fate? Just punch your ticket to heaven, son — you're in.
But, while we're at it, you're also done. Best prepare your resume and go into real estate or medical equipment sales in Norman or Oklahoma City. Open a car dealership in Pawhuska. Maybe start your own "Junk Grabbing" apparel label.
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After barely hearing NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announce Mayfield as the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft over the badgering boos at Jerry World, the first reaction is "Poor Baker."
God continues to challenge Mayfield. There could not be a worse destination for ... well, anyone, but especially Baker.
This will be the first time Baker has arrived to a team with expectations. NFL life would have been hard enough had he gone to the New York Jets, Arizona Cardinals or any NFL franchise that needs a quarterback, but the Browns are a special level of hell.
They are the only team that can make Cincinnati Bengals management look good.
The Browns are one of the worst franchises in sports, not just football, and Mayfield has been drafted to save it. When a team selects a quarterback with the first overall pick, they do so because they are dead. They need a savior.
Give him the comparable supporting cast he had at Oklahoma, and maybe you can sell this. In Cleveland? Give me some of the good stuff that Johnny Manziel liked.
Feel free to add me to Mayfield's hit list of media scum "who crossed the line," but walking on at Texas Tech and Oklahoma are a lazy-river ride compared to cleaning up the dog mess in the Dawg Pound in Cleveland.
Much like we as people don't deserve dogs, no one deserves Cleveland. LeBron James is Cleveland's favorite son, and he's a Dallas Cowboys fan for a reason.
Mayfield, however, is not Johnny Manziel 2.0. That's a lazy slap at Baker. Manziel was selected in the first round by Cleveland in 2014, and that turned out the way we all thought it would — in the bottom of a brown bottle with a pretty pink slip.
Baker is short and cocky, but he is not Johnny Stupid and he won't be Baker Bonehead.
But Mayfield just became the 10th quarterback the Browns have drafted since they re-joined the NFL in 1999. Since then, they have had 14 different quarterbacks lead them in passing in a given year.
The Browns have not only repeatedly demonstrated the unique ability to sign/draft mediocre to bad quarterbacks, they also back that up by picking equally ish players everywhere else, too. They don't just discriminate against quarterbacks. They don't draft anyone.
Since coming back into the NFL in '99, the Browns have had two winning seasons. Total. One playoff game. They are 1-31 in the past two years. The last time they had a winning record was 2007, when they finished 10-6.
Baker has been selected to fix all of that.
True to his word, Baker did not attend the NFL Draft in Arlington, but rather enjoyed the moment with his family and friends near his hometown of Lake Travis in Austin.
Maybe he went back into his bedroom and had a good cry, too. Can't blame him — he's moving to Cleveland.
If we learned anything about Mayfield in his time in Lubbock or Norman is that he won't run from the Browns. He will try to do for them what no one thinks he can. Because no one has since Bernie Kosar back in the '80s.
Baker Mayfield can't save the Browns because Baker Mayfield is not God.
Turns out he's just Job.