A hot-dog-stuffed pickle — yes, you read that right — a deep-fried cinnamon roll, and foods crusted with Cheetos or Lay's Potato Chips will be among the latest lineup of crazy concessions items at Globe Life Park during Texas Rangers games this season.
On the (relatively) healthy side, there also will be vegan nachos and Frito pie, and even some (comparatively) subtle stuff, such as Nitro Cold Brew Coffee from Austin's Cuvee Coffee.
The Rangers and Sportservice, the Globe Life Park concessionaire, announced the new items Tuesday. They'll be available for the Rangers home opener, March 29 against World Series champs the Houston Astros.
Here's a quick rundown:
The Dilly Dog: As if it wasn't enough that this features a hollowed-out pickle (from Fort Worth's Best Maid) stuffed with an Angus beef jumbo dog, it's then battered and fried. "Fried" is a word you will be seeing a lot in this story. $10; available at State Fare Stand in section 41.
The Triple B: The three B's here are bacon, brisket and bologna, but there are even more B's involved because the meats are topped with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce and served on a soft roll. $18; available at the Homeplate Butcher Block at section 24 and the Smokehouse 557 at section 49.
7th Inning Cinnamon Roll: You'll need your seventh-inning stretchy pants for this deep-fried cinnamon bun that's topped with raspberry and chocolate sauces. $10; available at State Fare Stand, section 41.
Cheetos Jalapeño Bacon Dog: Start with a hot dog. Wrap it in bacon. Cover it with Cheetos cheese sauce. Top it with jalapeños and more Cheetos. Worry about aftereffects later. $11; available at the American Dog Stand at sections 22 and 48.
Lay's Home Plate Chicken Sandwich: Lay's has done things like chicken-and-waffle-flavored potato chips; why not crust a chicken breast with them and then fry it, for "a sandwich as big as home plate!," as the release puts it? And then put it all on a giant bun with lettuce, tomato, spicy mayo — and more Lay’s chips. $27.50; available at the Flew the Coop Stand at section 50.
Rold Gold waffle cone: After Cheetos-crusted hot dogs and potato-chip-crusted chicken breast, a waffle cone with Rold Gold pretzels mixed in sounds almost tame. $9.25; available at the Ice Cream Stands at sections 11 and 23.
Vegan nachos: Officially billed as "Vegan nachos to satisfy any appetite," these meat- and dairy-free nachos consist of Tostitos tortilla chips topped with house-made vegan chili and vegan cheese sauce, lettuce, tomato, olives and Beyond Crumbles. $13; available at the Ballpark Vegan Stand at section 16
Nitro Cold Brew coffee: Like we said, pretty straightforward: Cuvee Nitro Cold Brew coffee on draft. But you can add Monin French vanilla or hazelnut syrup and almond milk if you want something a little less staightforward. $7.50; available at the Ballpark Vegan Stand at section 16
Home Run ham fries: You guessed it: Ham, fried till crisp, served to look like french fries but, you know, hammy. $7.50; available at the State Fare Stand at section 41
Pickle fries: Really, we think you've got this by now. $7.,50; available at the State Fare Stand at section 41
Spicy garlic Buffalo fries: No, not fried Buffalo wings, which would be kind of redundant. But garlic fries topped with wing sauce. $10.50; available at the Fry Depot at sections 10 and 40.
Cracker Jack Cheetos Popcorn: Cracker Jack mixed with Cheetos popcorn. This sounds like something we might have thought about doing on a late night back in the day, but did we think about marketing it? Noooooo ... $9; available at Chester’s Popcorn Wagon at section 42
Vegan Top N Go Frito Pie: Top N Go Fritos Scoops served with vegan chili and cheese. $8.75; available at the Ballpark Vegan Stand at section 16
Garlic tots or chips: Your choice of crispy tater tots or thick-cut Yukon gold chips topped with garlic oil and shredded Parmesan cheese. $14.25; available at the Chipper Stand at section 32
The Rebecca Creek Saloon will offer such new items as a Rebecca Creek bacon jam burger (with a jam made from Rebecca Creek Whiskey; $15); a poblano burger (featuring a Queso Oaxaca-stuffed grilled poblano pepper; $15); smoked pork ribs, served by the half-pound with sides ($15); and chicken or brisket tacos ($11).
Suites will get such amenities as a pickle bar (featuring sour pickles, bread & butter pickles, spicy garlic pickles), "Texas Mediterranean mezze" (classic hummus, red pepper hummus, tzatziki, cucumber tomato salad, spicy Alive Mix, feta, and black bean puree, served with pita chips and Lavash); Chinese dumplings; beef short ribs; and Texas street tacos.