University of Texas

Urine chart urges Longhorns to pee like a champion today

Tom Herman addresses the media as he is introduced as The University of Texas’ new football coach in November 2016.
Tom Herman addresses the media as he is introduced as The University of Texas’ new football coach in November 2016. AP

For the latest sign that it is, indeed, football’s off-season, look no further than the latest news out of Austin, and in particular the bathrooms at the University of Texas’ Moncrief-Neuhaus Athletic Center.

It’s there that first-year coach Tom Herman’s latest edict is posted, calling for “championship level hydration” from all players before, during and after practice.

These types of hydration charts are common in athletic programs of all stripes, but who knew you could judge a teammate’s worth based on the hue of his urine?

Being detail-oriented is one thing. Taking care of the finely-tuned machine that is a college football player’s body is totally inbounds. But this? This is the intersection of a coach’s sense of humor and too much information.

It’s also ironic that the innermost sinful circles of Herman’s Inferno creep closer and closer to the Longhorns’ own sacred burnt orange. As will happen on Twitter, the clever replies came in by the toilet-full.

But Herman, per Rivals.com reporter Anwar Richardson, is 100 percent serious about his urine-alysis.

Matthew Martinez: 817-390-7667; @MCTinez817

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