Other Voices

If you want to pull God into this election, pray for political sanity

GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio and his family take the stage to say goodbye to supporters after the Florida primary on Tuesday.
GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio and his family take the stage to say goodbye to supporters after the Florida primary on Tuesday. TNS

Talk about taking the Lord’s name in blame.

During his rambling concession speech Tuesday night, the soon-to-be-unemployed most junior Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Happy Trails to You, explained his drubbing at the polls by noting “it is God’s plan that I not be president in 2016, or maybe never.”

Emphasis on never.

This would suggest, of course, that the Almighty took time out from managing the universe and helping baseball players who do the sign of the cross at the plate to hit a hanging curve, to gaze down from the heavens and think: “Let there be the Donald.”

No, senator, there was no divine intervention in your landslide 27 percent of the Florida primary vote, losing by 19 points to a chap who has been married three times, bragged about his adulterous affairs, reigned over a gambling empire and confessed to never having asked for God’s forgiveness even as he was ripping off widows, gullible investors and hapless marks who attended one of his phony schools.

Or is it simply possible that God has a perverse sense of humor?

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz frequently invokes a higher deity on those rare occasions when he wins a primary, delivering a rapturous “God bless the great state of Maine!” Or Iowa, or Kansas or Oklahoma.

Does this suggest those other heretical states that preferred Trump are doomed to eternal damnation? As a matter of fact, yes, they are, or at least potentially to four years of Yosemite Sam in the White House.

This isn’t really a presidential campaign. It’s Donald’s Inferno.

Republican Party big shots are ruing the de facto takeover of the GOP by the Maharaja of Mar-a-Lago.

Across the right-wing radio dial there is no shortage of dithering hand-wringing over what Trump’s dominance means for the Republican Party.

Here’s a start for the “We’re all going to die!” crowd: Shut up.

Barring an anvil landing on Trump (you never know), he is all but certain to be the nominee. And any plot to finagle the convention rules to prevent a Trump nomination will result in a chaotic frenzy resulting in handing the White House to Hillary Clinton.

Republicans better get used to the awkward arranged marriage to the GOP equivalent of Howard Cosell meets the late Chris Farley’s Saturday Night Live crazed motivational speaker. Terrifying? Oh, yeah. But what fun.

And it appears Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ long march to the White House may be on its last legs as Clinton moves closer to capturing the Democratic presidential nomination.

When you lose by 31 percentage points as Sanders did to Clinton in Florida, it is a sign that things are not going your way.

Over at the Clinton campaign headquarters in Ybor City, Fla., volunteer Jean Simmons said she was partly motivated to get politically involved because she feared what would happen if Trump was elected and “he hacked off that guy in North Korea.”

“God help us,” chimed in Marilyn Allen.

It’s going to be a busy time for the Good Lord.

Daniel Ruth is a columnist for the Tampa Bay Times.

  Comments