Have I seriously not been on here for the whole month of April?
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I know there is too much good in life to feel as bad as I’ve been feeling for the last month. Lately, people in my life seem to be one or more of the following: stressed, worried, angry, scared, sick, bitter, overworked, excitable, exhausted, annoying, busy, lying, in denial, irresponsible, or just plain crazy. I myself fall into at least five, if not seven of those categories.
Drama causes stress. The more friends and loved ones you have in your inner-circle, the more drama you’ll have in your life, so in that sense, stress is kind of like a backhanded compliment: “Sorry you feel like crap, but at least you have lots of people who love you!”
For the last few weeks, I feel like every time I’ve logged on to any social network, for every status update of happiness, joy or positivity, there were five negative, ugly, hateful ones. Already stressed due to the amount of resounding negativity and drama in my own life for the last few weeks, I have had this desperate need to simplify everything I do have control over. I got honest with myself. I deleted things off my to-do list I know dang well I’m never going to make time for because I just don’t care. I questioned my motives. “What purpose does this person/place/thing serve?” I deleted over 140 “friends” on a whim. I went through my list, looking at people’s name/photo and if I immediately had a thought of cynicism, worthlessness or an uncomfortable level of vulnerability, I simply deleted them on the spot without a second thought. Though I knew/know them all in “real life,” today I couldn’t even tell you who I deleted — they were that insignificant to me. I also took things off my social calendar with white-out and added new ones or even better — nothing, in their place.
I’ve always been kind of a cynical smart-a type. (Those of you who know me well are probably thinking, “Kind of?!”). I get it. Pot, meet kettle. The thing you hate in others is the thing you hate the most about yourself, so they say. There is just too much negativity in my life right now. Thus, I am going to try to be less negative myself. I’ve made lots of exciting plans and I’ve had to get really in touch with who I am at the core in order to deal with some of the issues that have fallen in my lap lately. So yes, I get the hypocrisy here. I am guilty of the negative facebook status update and negative blog post. Some might think this particular blog post is negative, but it’s not — I don’t mean it to be. It’s about simplification.
I still have plenty of drama and stress to go around, and it’s from worry and concern for loved ones, hoping I can stick to my own financial/work goals, etc. And that’s the kind of stress I SHOULD have. I’m so incredibly lucky to have people in my life who I love and who love me.
So that's where I've been at that's where I am.
There is just too much going on in the world around us. We are bombarded from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go back to bed, or at least, I feel like I am. I just needed to cut out the NOISE of others — who clearly must not have as much love and friendship as I’ve been blessed to have, because I think they’re just sitting around creating more noise and drama for attention.To those people: Talk, type, self-medicate and update away… do whatever it is that you do to make you feel better… I just choose not to listen.