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Well, it's official!

I am going to be a mommy to a 10-year-old boy! He has no idea who we are yet, or that he’s being adopted, but we first heard about him on May 19. I almost wrote back to our caseworker immediately, saying “This is NOT a girl,” but I glanced through his short attached file and he sounded like a great kid. 

I thought, “Maybe this is our kid?” but I wasn’t sure. The angels didn’t start singing or anything. I didn’t see his little face and just “know.” She said in her initial email that his caseworker chose us and stopped reading case files after ours because she was so sure we were a perfect match. I wondered why... Surely something about us and something about him made the stars align... so I wrote back and said, “Yes, we’d like to proceed and get more information about him.” We showed his picture to my stepdaughter and asked what she thought about him. She was like, “Eh, whatever.” I told her, “We’re just getting more information at this point... Nothing is set in stone.” A few weeks passed...

We received a box containing 1,400 pages of CPS reports on this child, in chronological order, starting back in January of 2005. I wondered, “Where was I in 2005? What was I doing while this kid was going through this hell?” 

In January 2005, I was living in Vegas — in a cute 2-bedroom apartment in the Peccole Ranch area, about 10 minutes from Red Rock Canyon — just me and my boyfriend of 6 months. I was a graphic designer at a magazine about toner. I was 23 years old. I had no kids, no pets. I smoked indoors. I went out on the strip. I gambled, drank and ate like a princess. In March 2005, we took a short, overnight trip up to the Mt. Charleston Hotel, where my boyfriend became my fiance (in about 13 feet of snow). In October 2005, we were married. Then in November, we moved back to Texas; in December we bought our house and our Lab puppy Sam; and in January 2006, my stepdaughter came to live with us full-time. 2005 was a wonderful year for us, full of huge life changes. 2005 was full of changes for this little boy too...

He was shuttled in between foster care and the care of his mother and other relatives – even one of his teachers kept him for a while. This turmoil lasted for two years until he went to stay semi-permanently with a distant relative while his mom had one last shot at getting her life in order for her kids... 

In February 2007, Hubs and I discussed adoption and got the process started. In March 2007, however, I had another baby instead: my own business. Then in May, Hubs’ little brother (only two years my junior) came to live with us and start his life over in Dallas. The combination of these events held up our adoption and we slowed the process to a halt — waiting to see how the brother would do and how the business would pan out. But that’s OK, our kid wasn’t ready for us yet anyway...

All the instability from two years bouncing around made this little boy unruly at home and at school, and after keeping him and trying their best for 11 months, they were ready to give up. His caseworker begged them to keep him for a few more weeks, until after the Christmas holidays, but he was placed into a new foster family the week of Christmas 2007. His mother’s parental rights were terminated permanently within two weeks (Jan. 2008) and then he had his eighth birthday the following week. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday...

In December 2007, I was getting kind of desperate for a job after losing my battle with my own business start-up. I started working for my current job Dec. 10, 2007, thank God — we always had our bills paid, and this job has enabled me to get out of a lot of that debt from the business. So we were kinda broke for a while... Our finances became stable again. Little brother-in-law moved out. We got the adoption ball rolling again...

TB tests, physicals, fingerprinting, background checks, an ungodly amount of paperwork, essays, bios, interviews, a home study, photos — so many photos...

We received our certification from the state in December 2008 and this little boy had a fantastic evaluation done in February 2009. His caseworker met with our adoption agency for a “staffing” in March (where state CPS workers meet with agencies to try and match available families with their kids). Then, after reviewing lots of files, they found us, and stopped reading.

He has now been with the same foster family (what sounds to be a great one) for a little over a year and a half. He has flourished there, indeed, with the help of a great counselor. His foster mom says he is a compliant child and she rarely has problems with him. He likes school and is an A/B student. He is a boy’s boy — likes playing outside, riding bikes, swimming, fishing, playing xbox and reading. He’s not a picky eater, but he doesn’t like onions. 

We “nested” a couple weeks ago, thinking we’d have him by the end of June. We chose a cool blue color for the walls... perhaps the room will feel calm, like home, and help him feel relaxed in a scary, new and strange place. 

He’s just about ready for us now, but he’s away at summer camps for the next couple weeks, so it will be July 20 before he sees our photos and learns our names... then we will meet him that week and he will likely move in that weekend! 

That's a lot of info for a little boy to process all at once, but I think he’s ready — I think we are all ready now.

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