With the always overblown Scouting Combine now done with, and even with the NFL Draft still two months away, it’s never too early to scheme and scam on behalf of our troubled local football club.
Who knows? Mr. Jerry might be actually reading this stuff. My ideas, and yours, are as good as his track record when it comes to evaluating talent.
So here’s a grand plan:
Trade Tony Romo to the Houston Texans for the first pick in the draft.
Use that pick to draft, yes, Johnny Football.
Stop it right now with your dog-cussing. You can’t bully me.
But who sez Houston would do that deal? Well, the Texans are a ready-to-win club except for ...
Boy, they need a veteran quarterback who can play. Tony can play. Don’t give me any back talk on that. Tony can play.
If the Texans want more in the deal, the Cowboys can throw in their second-round pick. Whatever it takes, Johnny replaces Tony immediately.
And Jerry? He knows he’s not going anywhere with Tony. Not anywhere except the proven 8-and-8. Mr. Jones needs new blood at QB. And he needs out from under that stupid contract he gave Romo last summer.
Jerry and Johnny? That, friends, is the perfect pig-and-slop combo. If you think it’s nuts around Valley Ranch now ...
Jerry and Johnny out there loose on local streets would be a Twitter tsunami.
Forget high school in Kerrville. Forget his Aggies days. Johnny was born to play for Jerry.
Call me stupid, but actually, I’m attempting to be helpful here. I’m also Johnny’s No. 1 fan.
But you’ve got to admit that after the last week of Jerry’s shucking and jiving with his comments, my idea for the Cowboys on Johnny Football is certainly no worse than the mumbo-jumbo that came out of Jones’ mouth at the Scouting Combine in Indy.
Mr. Jones makes a verbal habit of throwing his head coach under the bus, but last week he was sitting on the Cowboys’ bus when he drove it right over Jason Garrett.
I keep saying Garrett would have been better off being fired in January, and Jerry keeps confirming that opinion, doing so in his usual coming-in-from-left field kind of way.
The latest word from Jerry was Jason has been demoted for the 2014 season to “defensive” observer. There is still the head-coaching title, but Jason is now barred from having any offensive input. At all.
Jones is apparently upset that Garrett “was really your offensive coordinator last season.” His words.
Jerry, you remember, had promoted Bill Callahan to that role.
Despite what Jerry seems to be saying, Garrett did not call the plays last season. Callahan called the plays. Callahan called every play last season. But the guy who had the final say on what play was run, well, it was not Garrett.
Romo had the final call. And he used it.
Tony had more power in that area than both Garrett and Callahan. Jerry gave Tony that power. Last week, Jerry told us Tony would have more power next season than even last season. Stupid, but true.
Garrett never wanted Callahan as the play-caller anyway. But Jason did get his way for 2014 with the hiring of Scott Linehan as the new play-caller.
Except Jerry said last week that only Linehan and Romo would be responsible for all aspects of the offense. Garrett gets to be a defensive observer despite his offense-only résumé in the NFL.
Yes, but confusion is the Cowboys way. The Jerry way.
Mentally, Jerry was wandering all over the place last week with his comments.
So I joined him this morning in mentally wandering.
If Jerry is not careful he’s going to end up bestowing more power on Romo than, well ...
With Romo’s contract, he’s already the second-most powerful person at Valley Ranch. Tony tells Jason what to do. He will tell Linehan what to do. Tony also seems to be telling Jerry what to do.
But the Jerry and Tony Show is, let’s face it, an exercise in mediocrity.
And here’s Johnny, arriving on the NFL scene.
The word from the Scouting Combine was that Jerry and Johnny Football became a friendly duo in Indy, and had one-on-one meetings that went beyond the official interview session the Cowboys had with Johnny as a team.
Sure, Jerry is interested in Manziel, even as he publicly denies any chance of obtaining Johnny through the draft. Why wouldn’t he be interested? Jerry loves show biz. And Johnny is a show-biz QB who will put even more butts in Arlington seats.
Sure, when Romo signed his new contract before last season, there seemed to be no way the Cowboys could come back a year later, and from a financial standpoint, draft a quarterback high in the first round, or anywhere in the first round.
Sure, Johnny ending up with the Cowboys will not happen, unless ...
OK, the Texans do have that first pick. The Texans are ready to win now, provided they can land a veteran QB who can play.
Meanwhile, Johnny was born to play for Jerry.
My trade idea makes as much, if not more, sense than anything Jerry had to say last week.