OK, TCU, you’re up.
Try not to screw this up for the rest of us.
Texas already tried and failed.
By “us” I mean Texans. Every Texan. Longhorns. Bears. Red Raiders. Mustangs. Horned Frogs. And, yes, we are still technically related to the Aggies, too.
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Every family has “one of those” relatives. The one who is never invited to Thanksgiving Dinner but somehow manages to find the right house to make the entire evening uncomfortable. Because every year we think, “This time, they’re gonna get it together!”
And then they fall off the wagon, and blow a 34-point third quarter lead.
Never in the history of this great state have we all suffered such embarrassment and humiliation in our game as this past weekend when not a single team defeated an FBS-level opponent.
Sorry TCU and Texas Tech — we don’t celebrate wins over teams from the SWAC, or from Eastern Washington. We’re Texas, where bigger is a virtue.
If you thought Kansas 24, Texas 21 was bad, A&M’s historic gag at the Rose Bowl was the Aggies’, “Wait ’til they get a load of me” moment.
While we all hoot laugh as our rivals suffer humiliating losses to something called Liberty, we forget to realize that these developments are an indictment on us, too.
Because this is not just one school. This is now not just one season.
These are our kids. These are our high school players. These are our coaches. These are our facilities. This is our priority and our identity.
This is a pandemic of bad football that has infected nearly every team in the state. The results in Week 1 started with humorous in Austin, to laughable in Waco, over to pathetic in Los Angeles.
As our President Trump would Tweet: Sad.
Only this is not funny. This is now officially a giant waste of money. Apparently we’re a basketball state.
People may not like this, but the best bet to wave the state flag is TCU. And that starts on Saturday in Pigtown when the Frogs play Arkansas.
The Frogs are currently ranked 23rd in the new Associated Press poll, and the only team from Texas to be listed.
Alabama has two teams ranked in the top 13. Washington has two in the top 20; one of those coaches, Mike Leach, used to work in Texas. Florida has four in the top 25. And, worse, Oklahoma has two teams in the top 11.
(Please note that Trinity Valley Community College in Athens opened fourth in the National Junior College poll and improved to 2-0 after a six-point win against Navarro College over the weekend.)
This state is a pigskin mess right now far worse than originally feared. It’s reached the point of embarrassment.
It’s one week into the season and the Aggies are done. A member of the school’s board of regents, Houston-based lawyer Tony Buzbee, went on a Facebook rant for the ages after his beloved alma mater blew that game against UCLA.
One week into the season, he called out head coach Kevin Sumlin and wants him fired.
It was unnecessary, unbecoming, embarrassing and totally Aggie. Sumlin deserves criticism, but not one week into a season. All Buzbee did was to undermine his alma mater’s head coach, the coaching staff, not to mention create a distraction for a bunch of kids who are smart enough to read the Internet.
Since he was hired away from Houston to replace Charlie Strong, Tom Herman went out of his way to make sure that we all know Texas Longhorn football is about Tom Herman. A big program like Texas needs a big-ego coach, but this man is acting like Urban Meyer without one key element: Success.
Maryland hung half-a-hundred at DKR. Maryland.
Herman had it coming.
And then there is Baylor, which at this point requires no real explanation. Always know everything is in play in Waco, including “But he’s a good guy” recommendation letter about Art Briles from the school that fired and fileted him.
That all of these events would happen in a month is one thing, but for it all to go down in roughly a 24-hour period is surprising. It should be expected. We just aren’t that good right now.
The only school left with a chance to represent the state on a national level is TCU, which proved it can run over an SWAC team by defeating Jackson State, 63-0.
The Frogs did what they were supposed to do against an over-matched team: Turn it into a practice. That’s what Baylor used to do.
No one has has any idea if TCU is any better than it was last season when it hosted Arkansas and lost at home in overtime. That loss was not the trigger for TCU’s blah 6-7 season, but it showed us all what was coming.
TCU is a three-point favorite, so at least Vegas thinks good things are coming for the toads.
At this point, even if you are an Aggie, a Bear, a ’Horn or something else, we need one of our teams to be good.
TCU, you’re up.
Try not to screw this up for the rest of us.
Mac Engel: @macengelprof