Adam 'Pacman' Jones gets a free pass as Jerry Jones covers his bets

Sources at Valley Ranch were saying early Thursday morning that Jerry Jones came to work very, very hissed off at one of the many problem children he pays to play football.

Pacman Jones had put Jerry in a difficult situation. In this case, the boss was up against it. He had to choose between right and wrong.

Brace yourself, but Jerry went wrong. Grief counselors are standing by.

Pac-Rat has spent the last couple of months making a fool out of Jerry. By noon on Thursday, Jerry proved again he could do that on his own.

Being hissed off is one thing. The hip pocket is another. Be advised not to read this while driving any motorized vehicle, but Jerry sided with his hip pocket. Remember to steer left when fish-tailing.

Jerry’s internal investigation team at Valley Ranch dug deep to discover that the Tuesday night incident at an upscale Dallas hotel was merely a bunch of "kidding around" and "playfulness," or as Jerry would describe it later Thursday, they were "jivin.’ " (I don’t want to make this a racial thing, but isn’t Jerry too old, too white and too rich to ever say "jivin’ "?)

And about that "internal investigation team." I’m still running down information on this, but early indications say these guys were on loan from the Pentagon, after not having steady work since that weapons of mass destruction report from Iraq.

Pacman has walked all local charges is what Jerry told us. Sure, he will play cornerback in a depleted secondary Sunday in Arizona, and that decision has nothing to do, of course, with the Cardinals loving to light it up through the air. Next, we await word from the final authority on this topic, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Another whitewash from Goodell would not be a surprise. If he actually enforced his own zero-tolerance edict on Pacman, then would come those nasty questions about why he reinstated this idiot in the first place.

The truth is this:

Pac-Rat and one of his bodyguards, off-duty cop Tommy Jones, mixed it up with fisticuffs in the hotel men’s room after an argument on what time to leave the place. At 11 p.m., the bodyguard wanted Pacman out of there, and certainly that was under orders from Jerry. Pac, however, wanted to party on. Once the fight broke out, the hotel called the police.

That 911 conversation doesn’t "jive" with what Jerry said Thursday. A three-way fight was the report, including a female being involved. We will call her Pac’s "significant other, Tish," which was Jerry’s description Thursday. (Get me Hollywood. Somebody needs to make a movie.)

While still pondering the "Tish" impact, and speaking from experience about men’s room fights with my bodyguards, I have surmised that Pacman was getting the crap beat out of him by Tommy, and that caused a Tish overreaction, so she jumped in to help her man.

At no time has anyone involved mentioned "kidding around" or "playfulness." Jerry continued Thursday to live the same Pacman lie, because he knows this was not an isolated incident for Pac-Rat, instead yet another case where the rodent has defied Jerry repeatedly on where to be hanging around and when to be there.

As predicted, Mr. Jones barricaded himself Thursday behind no charges being filed by the police, although the only parties who could file were a Jerry employee and an upscale hotel that wants to quickly sweep out this incident along with Pacman’s unpaid bar tab.

To paraphrase one of the Hambrick brothers from long ago Cowboys lore, "What do zero-tolerance mean?"

With sadness, however, I must report one act of extreme cruelty Thursday afternoon at Valley Ranch. Instead of Jerry speaking first to a gathered media army, he made Wade Phillips walk point. Wade had to take the initial barrage of unkind questions. Ever seen Sansabelt coaching pants verbally ripped off a grown man? Ugly.

But at least Wade got mad enough at being picked on to yell back. He didn’t come across as Jerry’s significant other Tish.

Look, Jerry’s once proud team has hit a stretch of gravel road. Not playing well lately in any area, not sure what to think about the latest weirdness from kooky Eldorado Owens, not sure what do with a significant injury for cornerback Terence Newman, and not sure what to think about the inconsistent play of Pacman Jones.

Actually, Pac-Rat is already a locker room and on-the-field puzzle (a quick show of hands, please, from Cowboys defensive coaches who were hoping Jerry would run off Pacman?) But now this player has embarrassed Jerry, and Jerry ended up embarrassing himself in dealing with it.

Hey, there are high-dollar tickets to be sold at the new Boss Hawg Bowl. This is a worry. A great season, with a great finish, would remove this worry for Jerry. He thinks he needs Pacman to make that kind of season happen.

But when it was time to do right and be manly, it was Jerry who became Pacman’s significant other Tish.

Randy Galloway can be heard

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