Remember when 10 cents could buy one free-for-all?

It wasn't the fat woman who tried to kiss umpire Nestor Chylak, or the multiple streakers, or the father-son duo who ran onto the field and mooned the fans that was the tipping point that night in Cleveland's old Memorial Stadium 34 years ago.

The ultimate fuse, the one that turned the drunken crowd into a dangerous mob, was the guy who ran into right field in the ninth inning and snatched Jeff Burroughs' cap right off his head.

When the fan turned and tried to grab Burroughs' glove, too, the fight was on.

"Let's go get 'em, boys," Texas Rangers manager Billy Martin would say in words that could have been etched on his tombstone, and grabbing a fungo bat, Martin led a charge of Rangers players, many of them also armed with bats, from the dugout to rescue their beleaguered right fielder.

After June 4, 1974, major league baseball would stage no more Ten Cent Beer Night promotions. A few thousand drunken rowdies in Cleveland had ruined it for the rest of us.

The Indians were responding to a similar promotion the Rangers had held when the Cleveland club was at Arlington Stadium a few weeks earlier. There had been a near brawl that night when several Indians players were doused with cups of cheap beer.

But what happened at Cleveland's "Mistake by the Lake" would make that night look like a Cub Scouts meeting.

"You just had the feeling it was going to be one of those nights," said Rangers broadcaster Tom Grieve, whose two home runs in the game were wiped out by the ensuing forfeit. "It started when this big lady came on the field and wanted to kiss Nestor Chylak. Then they couldn't get her up the stairs and back off the field."

One streaker raced across the field, wearing nothing but a pair of black socks, pursued by half a dozen security men. All they got, as he leaped over the fence and into the arms of his buddies, was one of his socks.

The Indians were "limiting" fans to six beers at a time at the concession stands, but when they couldn't keep up with the demand, some front-office genius decided it would be OK if the fans just lined up at the Stroh's trucks parked behind the center field fence.

"The longer the game went on, the drunker everybody got," said Grieve.

The boiling point came in the ninth, after the Indians actually had rallied to tie the game. By then, with firecrackers raining onto the field from the upper deck, Chylak already had ordered both bullpens cleared.

Then Burroughs was attacked in right and total chaos broke out, with fans beginning to pour over the walls and onto the field.

"When I got into right field, Lenny Randle said, 'Hey, let's get back to back,'" Jim Sundberg recalled. "Next thing I know he's not there and there's this guy maybe about 300 pounds approaching me, and he was mouthing something about kicking my [tail]. Just before he got there, Dave Duncan [the Indians' catcher] tackled him and Billy Martin is kicking him in the face."

The first player to come to Burroughs' rescue was Rangers first baseman Mike Hargrove.

"This big old guy jumped out of the bullpen and down on the field and was squaring off with Jeff," Hargrove said from Liberal, Kan., where he's managing in the collegiate Jayhawk League this summer. "He didn't see me coming and I tackled him."

Indians players sprinted from their dugout to help the Rangers, and pitcher Tom Hilgendorf was hit by a chair.

"I really don't know what would have happened if [the Indians] hadn't come out," Rich Billings said. "They were the real peacemakers in the deal."

A hunting knife landed blade-down in the dirt near Chylak's feet, and if there had been doubt about ruling the game a forfeit, it ended then.

"Most of the fans were drunk and happy," Grieve said, "but once you got out on the field, you realized no matter how big and strong the ballplayers were, we were outnumbered to the point that it didn't matter.

"We just said, 'Let's get the hell out of here.' It finally occurred to us that if this crowd ever got mad, we were in deep trouble."

Players from both teams, soaked with spittle and beer, retreated to their dugouts and down the tunnels to their clubhouses, where they bolted the doors.

"I remember walking behind Chylak down the tunnel," Grieve said, "and he was so mad, so upset, he was swinging his face mask and breaking every light bulb along the way."

That's the night that the lights went out on Ten Cent Beer Night promotions, and it happened 34 years ago last Wednesday.

Playing it smart

Give the Rangers some credit for not being scared off from drafting a first baseman with their first pick in Thursday's amateur free agent draft.

Justin Smoak was one of three highly touted first basemen expected to be selected among the top 10 in the draft (all three went in the top 11) even though many major league teams prefer more athleticism and speed from their premier picks. Their philosophy is that you can always move players from other positions to first base, but once a first baseman, always a first baseman. Or DH.

If we've learned anything, though, it's that hitting a baseball is instinctive and there are certain skills involved, such as bat speed, that just can't be taught. First base is a position where teams expect high-powered production, so why not draft a player who shows that potential?

Smoak, a switch-hitter, has certainly done that, both at South Carolina and in the prestigious Cape Cod League last summer, when he led the league in home runs and was selected its best prospect by scouts who saw him play.

In addition, Smoak reputedly has Gold Glove potential in the field.

Doesn't matter that the Rangers are grooming Chris Davis to be their first baseman for years to come. If Smoak is as good as his billing, they'll find a place for him to play, or use him [or Davis] as a bargaining chip to help out someplace else.

Bigger baggage

Who'd have thought when Terrell Owens arrived in Dallas amid all that controversy in Philadelphia that two years later -- with one Tank Johnson and one Pacman Jones -- he'd be the least of Jerry Jones' worries?

Basically unarmed

Hey, I like Danica Patrick as much as anyone, but she needs to be careful before having a war of words with TMS president Eddie Gossage about how best to promote IndyCar Series racing.

She's liable to find herself in the same position as American Airlines CEO Gerard Arpey, who noted after the retirement of Southwest Airlines rival Herb Kelleher, "When I crossed swords with him, I felt like I was in a gunfight and all I had was a knife."

The next Tiger?

Want to find out if you have a budding Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson in your house? Then Hawks Creek's first Junior Golf Day is just what you're looking for.

Hawks Creek (formerly the old Carswell course in west Fort Worth) will turn the course over to the juniors June 17, and kids ages 6 to 17 are invited to come play free.

That's right, F-R-E-E, free!

And the course will provide all the hot dogs and drinks the kids can consume for just a buck apiece.

It's Hawks Creek's way of continuing a legacy of junior-friendly golf in Fort Worth.

No adults, except spectators, and no golf carts, just a course full of juniors strolling the fairways.

Phone 817-738-8402 for tee times.