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What the Dallas Stars need this morning is the Heimlich. Or at very least a trained expert standing by for Game 6 just in case.
Because we have another potential choker in the local jockosphere.
This is not to be confused with a personal prediction of gag, merely to note that choke became an option as of about midnight CST Friday, when Dallas frittered away a chance to eliminate San Jose.
Many reasons exist for this, including a bit of NHL buffoonery. A healthy dose of Stars idiocy also was to blame. They were 14 minutes away from a West Finals berth and had a two-goal lead. Both were blown.
This thing reeks of Mavs-Heat, circa 2006.
The game, the gag and what is TBD is whether the Stars can bounce back unlike the Mavs, who still have not.
And if this Stars team fails to advance, it will officially become the biggest choke in recent local jockosphere history, bigger than Mavs in Miami, bigger than them being the first No. 1 seed to lose in the first round of the NBA playoffs, bigger than the Cowboys losing to the Giants in the playoffs or the bobble.
No, this would be historically pathetic.
In NHL history, 150 teams have gone up 3-0 and only two have gone on to lose.
Two. TWO.
So why does it feel like we may be flirting with No. 3?
"We're up 3-2," Stars goalie Marty Turco deadpanned when presented with this notion after Game 5. "That's the only thing I have to do. That's the only thing I want to do. And it's the only thing we can do.... We still have destiny in our own hands."
Actually his hands. Destiny is in his hands.
There will be no gag reflex if Turco steals this game. And he may need to if this Stars team is content to watch Brenden Morrow try to score every goal or tip in every shot.
Turco has been so good for most of this playoffs and was again for stretches of Game 5.
Not so much in the third period Friday.
Certainly not in overtime.
The Sharks' second goal and the overtime winner were shots we expect him to stop because, well, he usually does. He had help, of course, in failing to do so; a lot of stupidity happening from his defensemen and forwards.
And now, with this series teetering, he needs to deliver something out of the 2007 playoffs, when he posted three shutouts against Vancouver, almost single-handedly dragging his team along.
Marty has a penchant for following up his stinkers with huge games.
Get ready for a shutout. The Stars may not need a zero, or Turco to stand on his head, but it certainly would make things easier. But there is no more room for softies. No more maybes, either.
Repeat after me: It is all about the goalie in the playoffs.
He is the guy capable of demoralizing a team. And his importance to his team can not be stated enough; without his ability to handle the stick and play the puck, there is no second round. He remains their best defenseman. But he has to stop shots. Period.
And if not, well, welcome to Game 7 in San Jose. And as the great Mike Keane once said about Game 7s, they are like pigs having sex. Dirty. Tense. Uncomfortable. And unpredictable.
Not to mention nerve-wracking.
Are the Stars going to choke?
I do not think so, but I did not expect this to reach Game 6. Especially because the Stars have been the better team for all but two periods of this series.
Failing to finish has a funny way of evening things.
Watching the third period and what very little existed of overtime on Friday made me question how exactly they had led 3-0 in this series. In these past two loses, the Stars have had -- to use a favorite Hitchism -- too many "passengers."
Paging Steve Ott. Please pick up the white courtesy phone for an important message. Get your butt back in this series.
And where has Loui Eriksson gone? His scoring is needed.
And somebody please explain to me why Mark Fistric was scratched rather than say, oh I don't know, Trevor Daley. The third period was a little bit of his work.
Let's not forget Toronto's culpability -- stupidly, incorrectly and incompetently disallowing Morrow's first goal with nonsense about a distinct kicking motion. It does not matter that he scored again or the Stars gagged up the lead. Those kind of calls give momentum to a team who had none. It left most Stars players speaking in clipped sentences, and offering read-between-the-line inferences as to what they felt did them in.
"I don't really have any thought at the end of the day," Turco said. "I really don't give two [blanks] either way. You've got to move on. You've got to win the series either way."
Make no mistake, the Stars have to win this series. Teams don't blow 3-0 leads, yet this seems all too possible. Some of it has to do with this team. A lot of it has to do with this town.
So call the Heimlich expert, and put him rink side at the AAC. Tonight. And hope that Turco makes his presence unnecessary.