Effective communication is a two-step process — speaking and listening

Posted Wednesday, Sep. 16, 2009 Comments   (0) Print Share Share Reprints
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campbell Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling. I was afraid I was the only one who felt this way.

That sentiment came through in call after call, e-mail after e-ail, starting before 8 a.m. last Thursday.

I wrote about wanting reasonable people interested in really listening to one another to rescue the public debate from radical voices spreading misinformation and divisiveness.

By late Wednesday, 76 people had e-mailed and 19 called to say they, too, want civil discourse among Americans, not Us vs. Them standoffs.

Another 35 e-mails (plus a couple of calls) ranged from even-tempered explanations of distrust of the Obama administration to accusations that I’m an ignorant liar with a liberal agenda (whatever that is).

Readers wrote from around North Texas but also Bradenton, Fla.; Toms River, N.J.; Anniston, Ala.; Albany, N.Y.; Tucson, Ariz.; and other locations where their local newspapers ran my column.

These responses made clear to me that Americans all over care about their country and the direction it’s taking, even if they aren’t standing up and shouting at town-hall meetings or inundating their members of Congress or forwarding dubious and incendiary e-mails far and wide.

"I will never understand how people can want our present government to fail, since we will all go down in the same boat together," a North Richland Hills resident said.

"I want people leading who are not Republicans or Democrats but Americans, trying to do what is good for America," another reader wrote.

"I am 65 years old and cannot remember in my lifetime when people have been so hateful and eager to believe any negative lie professed by radicals," wrote a registered Republican from Kokomo, Ind., who voted for President Barack Obama.

"I don’t want to think that what I believe about my country is just a myth; I want to continue to believe we are a decent and civil society," wrote a reader from Atlantic City, N.J.

"We the people, or a majority thereof, voted for Mr. Obama to lead our nation," wrote Amy Buckner of Watauga. "As a nation with countless viewpoints, religious faiths, lifestyles and cultures, there will always be opposition in some fashion. Our differences need not divide, but rather, teach us to step beyond our own backyard and dare to congregate with those that do not share our particular opinions. Polarity in thinking, such as these statements, 'Us and Them,’ 'Red and Blue,’ 'Liberals and Conservatives,’ do nothing to provide a solution for our nation’s improvement. They separate and divide and allow fear, paranoia and irrationality to reign and thrive. There is room for debate, but let’s treat others as we wish to be treated. And that is with kindness and mutual respect."

To be sure, I heard from readers who called my column nothing more than a liberal attack on conservatives, who chastised me for blindly carrying the Democrats’ water, who decried that amorphous monster "the liberal media" for not exposing the administration for the evil, lying, Marxist-infiltrated scandal they believe it is.

I was advised to educate myself by watching Fox News and listening to Rush Limbaugh.

I heard from screamers who wrote in all caps punctuated by curse words and exclamation points.

But I also heard from critics who mainly wanted to be taken seriously or who wrote passionately about their concerns then signed off with "respectfully" or "have a great day."

Some blamed the Obama administration for fomenting divisiveness and mistrust, for spending too much, for rushing headlong on healthcare reform. I simply can’t agree that we’re being dragged toward Socialism, but any taxpayer in his or her right mind has to want the administration and Congress to get a grip on the deficit and to get it as right as possible on whatever changes they make in the healthcare system after thorough public debate.

Here’s an idea I heard more than once: give our elected leaders and the rest of us the same health insurance plan.

In our dreams. But, in America, hope springs eternal.

Thanks to all who took the time to weigh in.

Linda P. Campbell is a Star-Telegram editorial writer. 817-390-7867

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