Adoptive parents offer thanks to mom, wherever she may be
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
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FORT WORTH -- Loretta has a special Mother's Day gift for a woman she's never met.
She doesn't know the woman's name, or even whether she lives in the area.
But if the woman does -- and if she is reading this -- Loretta would like to say "thank you."
Thank you for choosing to give birth to the 6-pound, 7-ounce boy whom Loretta and her husband, Chris, now call their youngest son. And thank you for placing the hours-old baby boy, now named Christian, in the safe arms of Arlington firefighters last year and not in a trash bin or an open field.
She hopes that by sharing Christian's story and pictures, she'll be giving the woman a gift as well.
"It's my hope ... if she gets an opportunity to read this article or see these pictures, that she will be comforted and know that she made the right decision, that this baby is loved, well-cared-for and he is an absolute delight and joy," Loretta said. "He's brought us so much happiness and we can't thank her enough for doing that."
The dream
Loretta had the dream a few years ago.
She is in a bed in a hospital room surrounded by friends when a nurse walks in, carrying a baby boy.
"In my dream I knew I had not given birth to this baby, but she walked in and the second I laid eyes on that baby in her arms, I said, 'That's my son,'" Loretta said.
"I just thought it was kind of symbolic like: 'I'll get a baby boy someday and it will be a child I did not give birth to. We'll adopt.'"
So in the latter part of 2005, Loretta and Chris, the parents of a biological daughter, became foster parents with the ultimate goal of adopting a son.
The Star-Telegram is not identifying the family by last name to protect their adopted children's identities.
"We've had a lot of friends and people that we know that have done foreign adoptions," Chris said. "There's a whole lot of kids that need a whole lot of help right here. That really was important to us."
The couple was already caring for a 2-year-old boy when they received a call Feb. 16, 2007, from the adoption agency that handles Child Protection Services placements reporting that it had a "Baby Moses."
"It didn't register with me," Loretta said. "I wasn't real familiar with the term."
In the exchange of phone calls that followed, Loretta tried to learn more about the baby, but information was scant. The baby was a boy. Probably Anglo or Hispanic. The agency was desperate for an answer from the couple, because about a thousand other families were interested in taking the child.
"You have to make a decision right away and of course, the child has not had any drug testing. The child has not been tested for anything so you don't know what you're getting," Loretta said. "You don't know if it's a healthy child."
After about three hours of discussions, the couple called the agency and expressed their interest. That afternoon, they received a call back that the boy would be placed with them upon his discharge from the hospital.
"We were blown away. We couldn't believe it because we knew we had let a lot of time pass while we were asking our questions," Loretta said. "We were nervous, excited. All those feelings that you get."
Tests would later reveal that Christian's health was fine.
Before Christian was discharged, a CPS investigator asked the couple whether they would like to spend a night at the hospital with their son-to-be.
"It didn't click right away," Loretta said. "We were on our way to the hospital. I said, 'Why do you think they want us to spend the night at the hospital?' My husband said, 'I don't know, but have you thought about that dream you had?'
"It was pretty special."
A mother's choice
It was through news reports that the couple learned more about Christian.
They read how firefighters at Station No. 10 on Southwest Green Oaks Boulevard in Arlington had seen a woman pull into the parking lot, sit inside her car for about five minutes, then drive away.
About an hour later, she returned. This time, she got out of her car, walked to the fire station door and handed the firefighters a baby wrapped in a blanket. She told them that she had found the boy in a trash bin, but authorities believe that the woman was the child's mother.
"She was probably trying to decide 'Can I do this? Can I really give this baby up?'" Loretta said. "The paramedic that took him to the hospital said that his [Christian's] eyes were wide open. He was looking around. In my mind, no doubt, he was looking her in the eyes and she probably was struggling with that decision."
The Baby Moses Law, enacted in 1999, designates Safe Baby Sites where parents can hand over a baby up to 60 days old to caretakers at hospitals, fire stations, ambulances or other emergency facilities without facing prosecution.
"To know how we feel about our children and to think what sort of situation could a young lady be in to do that, whatever it was, it must have been very hard on her," Chris said. "I couldn't imagine the pain that would put her through, but I'm thankful she did it. There's too many stories today about children in wastebaskets and abortion clinics. Of all the things she could have done, that was the best thing."
In November, Christian was legally adopted. In addition to a big sister, he was blessed with a big brother. Six months earlier, the family had adopted another son -- the 2-year-old boy who had been living with them when Christian arrived.
"Christian is my son. ... He's not from us, but somebody else had my son," Chris said. "We're just thankful that he's here."
'A special gift'
Today, Christian is almost 15 months old.
"The Lord has really given us a very special gift," Chris said. "I take a lot of responsibility as a father. I really do want to be the best father I can because I feel like because of the circumstances, because of all that happened and just the miraculous way he was brought to us, he's really our little miracle. And I'm thankful that we had the chance, that by our hands and our parenting, we'll be able to shape him. There's no telling what he'll be when he grows up."
The boy's once-dark hair has faded to blond. He has a hearty belly laugh when tickled and he loves to climb, scaling the coffee and dining tables like an expert.
His first word was "Mama."
"It stayed that way for several months, much to my husband's chagrin," Loretta said, laughing. "He kept saying: 'OK. You're going to have say Dada pretty soon.'"
He's since mastered "Dada," "nana" for bananas, his favorite fruit, and "hi."
"He says hi to everybody," Chris said. "When we go through the store, we'll push him around in the stroller and he'll have one hand up in the air and everybody that passes by, he's 'Hi! Hi!' telling everybody hello. He's not shy."
It seems fitting, his parents say, that he will be dedicated into his family's church today -- on Mother's Day.
During the ceremony, a family friend will sing Everything to Me, a song by Christian singer Mark Schultz that the couple felt best summed up their youngest son's entry into the world. Written from a son's perspective about his birth mother, the song tells of the tears that the mother must have cried when giving her son up and tries to quell the mother's fears that she made a mistake.
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with Dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me
Baby Moses Law
A parent may turn over unharmed newborns less than 60 days old to designated Safe Baby Sites with no penalty and no questions asked.
Hospital, fire stations, and some emergency medical facilities and ambulances are designated Safe Baby Sites.
A parent may disclose medical information and receive medical treatment but is not required to do so.
Babies will receive a medical evaluation and be turned over to Child Protective Services for placement in a home.
DEANNA BOYD, 817-390-7655
