Have you ever looked at your child and thought, YES. YES. He is meant to do this or that. I can see it plain as day. A budding artist, blooming singer, emerging actress. I think I will start preparing now for the life of ease that is coming my way when he buys me my second house off his third world tour record from his fourth platinum album. Perhaps I will embed a small diamond into my left incisor. I will definitely change my name to Mother To Rhodes Children so there is no confusion.
I don’t think any of us parents would admit how extraordinary we think our children are. Even if they are extraordinarily bad at something, we think it is for some epic, divinely inspired story of defeat and triumph, like Rudy, who is adorable, gutsy, determined, and who has the whole world cheering for him. We know every kid can’t be Rudy, but ours is not every kid. Even Rudy wasn’t the deepest Rudy, the real Rudy, the Rudiest Rudy, that our child will inevitably prove to be. Our child will be an atomic bomb of awesomeness on this world, plain and simple. The fallout of rejoicing will linger for years and the nuclear winter of admiration will thaw very, very slowly. We believe after our children have lived and died, the sun will never set on land masses, islands, empires, and special sauces that our children have impacted for the better. It sounds crazy to say it, but the longer I’m around this creaky old planet, the more I’m convinced that every parent, at least in Graco America, feels this way. Our kids may be unique, but if you’ve seen inside one parent’s delusional mind you’ve seen inside them all.
But enough about you.
Let’s talk about my child.
The best part is the whack he gives his guitar at the end for emphasis, a move he obviously got from my little brother. I also enjoy the sway, like he is seaweed bobbing at the bottom of Lake Ray Hubbard.
But perhaps he needs a guitar in his hands for coherency.
I would like to preface this next video by making two statements:
1. The first part and the last part of his song are the most recognizable. I think you would have been able to deduce on your own it’s “Joy To The World,” but just so you have a little bit of context before I throw you into the mire.
2. He counts off before starting the song. Wait until he says Three.
3. Just so we’re clear: I did not make a concerted effort to actually teach this song to him. What you see here is the result of incidental exposures at church, school, and around the house. He apparently believes the carol is sung in Finnish.
4. Do not be frightened by Thing Two’s delighted outburst off camera. It’s not an exotic bird, it’s Madeline singing backup.
OK, that was four statements.
Anyway. Roll ‘em.
And you thought you were sick of Christmas carols.
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