If “sports” like badminton, shooting and rhythmic gymnastics can make it into the Olympic games, then surely there’s room for a few more. Here are some events we’d like to see added to the summer Olympics:
Bear Wrestling: Like regular wrestling, only with live grizzly bears.
Laser Tag: We think the ancient Greeks would have wanted a sport that included lasers by now.
Frisbee Golf: Thousands already training at college campuses around the country.
Ninja Events: Not much of a spectator sport because the crowd never knows the ninjas are there.
Donkey Kong: The granddaddy of all arcade games. USA’s hopes ride on world champ Billy Mitchell.
Nascar: It’s like chariot racing only brought to you by Mountain Dew.
Valet Parking Relay: You can see this competition nightly on the streets of downtown Fort Worth.
Slow Pitch Softball: But with a three home run limit in each game.
Dodgeball: Forget the billion-dollar venue, any high school gym will do.
Hot Dog Eating: USA is gunning for you, Kobayashi.
Roofing: Fencing is already in, why not finish off the house with a roof.
Four Square: You loved it in elementary school, you’ll love it on the world stage.
Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots: But with real life-size robots.
Beer Pong: Excuse us, that’s Beer Table Tennis.
Marco Polo: Why not? It’s easily as popular as water polo.
Australian Rules Football: Finally a sport the Australians can dominate.
Chess Boxing: A game for the thinking man who also enjoys violence.
Tetherball: Surprisingly not an Olympic sport already.
Bow Fishing: Basically taking archery and putting it to good use by catching fish.
Swimming with sharks: Less about speed and technique, more about not being eaten by sharks.
Tug of War: Usually the last event at picnics and field days, it could replace the closing ceremony.
Baseball: Some how it didn’t make the cut for the 2012 games. Apparently it’s not as popular as team handball.