New Articles

April 9, 2011

Mommy Shutdown - 24 Hours or I am Outta Here!

We have all been bracing ourselves these last couple of days for the stark possibility of a government shutdown.  A move that would ultimately affect millions of Americans across our nation.  The prospect of a shutdown has been avoided as lawmakers scrambled to come to a compromise on last night.  Based on new reports officials were able to refrain from the costly cessation by finalizing the budget.

Well ladies and gentleman I thought to myself maybe just maybe I could put some demands on the table for my family.  I can insist that these needs be meet immediately or I will shutdown motherhood, that's right I am taking an unofficial timeout.  I know you are thinking my family will never go for this, I do not have the strength of the government behind me.  Well, that is where you are wrong...motherhood is one of the strongest forces any family can have so much so that I am followed around day and night by little agents (my children) who never leave my side.  They even follow me to the restroom and stand outside the door and wait until I come out. 

I have taken note of my importance and decided once and for all I will use my influence in this household to sway things in my direction. I will make my appeal in the form of a document sealed and stamped with mommy approval and request that these items be submitted for review and approved within 24 hours. IF for some reason I am unable to get my demands met I am officially shutting down.  Please note my shutdown will take place on an exotic island without said officials who will be required to remain at home.

Considering my demands aren't that far fetched the officials should be able to accomodate me quite nicely.  The only problem I perceive maybe the fact that the document for review is a modest 750 pages and atleast one of the advisors is unable to read. I however cannot be concerned about the qualifications or lack there of of said advisors, my mind is on one thing only...getting what I want!

Here are just a review of one of the many demands I have included in my document.  I would like at minimum one day a week without the responsibility of being a mother.  This will include but is not limited to cooking, cleaning, washing clothing, checking homework and speaking with teachers, this is a set day and is not to be cancelled or switched with any other day despite sickness, injury, or holidays.  This day however can be combined with other mother related days off to include but not limited to mother's day, and birthdays.

There you have it, this is just a preview of some of the requests I have made.  I wonder if I can get CNN or MSNBC to cover my story.  Better yet I will just post this to Youtube and Facebook to see if other moms want to join me in my plight! Mommy Shutdown...24 hours or I'm Outta Here...side note..I can't stay gone long because I love those kids so much!



Related content



Editor's Choice Videos