Hit by HIV, black women reach in to cope, out to empower

Every Tuesday, the Chosen Ladies of Distinction, as they call themselves, meet for a fast-food lunch.

There is laughter, bickering and often tears.

On this Tuesday in June, there is more than usual.

Sharon, 37, talks about a 17-year-old she knows who recently learned she was HIV-positive.

"It has just messed me up," she says as she wipes tears from her cheeks.

Sharon was 15 when she learned she had contracted HIV from a blood transfusion.

"The health department came in and escorted me to JPS, and they confined me in a room," she says, the tears now streaming. "I will never forget the day they told me."

More than two decades later, this mother of four cannot hide the pain of living with HIV.

"It hurts, really hurts," she says. "I just want to be accepted."

Sharon and the Ladies represent the face of HIV in America today. All of the women are members of the Sista to Sista support group at the AIDS Outreach Center in Fort Worth. The support group is open to all women, yet all of its members are black.

HIV is no longer just the scourge of gay populations in cities such as San Francisco, New York and Chicago. Instead, seven of the 10 states with the highest rate of HIV cases are in the South, where it’s ravaging African-Americans, particularly black women, who account for about two-thirds of the 127,000 women with HIV nationwide.

Overall, blacks make up 13 percent of the U.S. population, yet they account for nearly half of the more than 1 million Americans with HIV.

Contracting the virus

AIDS workers say there are myriad reasons for the rise of HIV/AIDS cases among black women. But the shortage of single black men, a lack of self-esteem and, in some cases, drug addiction play prominent roles.

"There’s the typical stuff — racism, low education and poverty — that makes them vulnerable," says Vera Owens, a minister with the Minority AIDS Project in Los Angeles, the first community-based AIDS organization established by blacks. "But really what is happening doesn’t have anything to do with race."

Black women are so used to being caregivers that they don’t know how to take care of themselves, she says. That’s why the L.A. program focuses on building self-worth in girls, before they reach high school.

"We’re trying to teach them that their needs are just as important as his needs," she says.

It’s a lesson that the Ladies of Distinction — an eclectic blend of 30-somethings juggling jobs and families, and grandmas on disability — are still trying to learn. With their floral sundresses and matching hoop earrings, the younger Ladies look as if they’re ready to go out on a date. The grandmothers of the group may be more inclined to wear sweats, but they’re just as feisty when it comes to conversations on everything from the latest hairstyles to men gone bad.

While in their teens and early 20s, many of the Ladies say they never gave HIV a second thought; it was a gay white man’s disease. They didn’t use condoms when they had sex. Some were with longtime partners who were intravenous-drug users. Others had sex with strangers. Some got lost in a world of alcohol, drugs and mental illness.

AIDS workers say protection is not a top priority for many of the people they see getting tested.

"If you have $20 in your pocket, are you going to spend it on entertainment or a box of condoms?" asks Daphne Myles, executive director of the Tarrant County AIDS Interfaith Network in Fort Worth. "For a lot of people, condoms are at the bottom of their list."

Nationwide, 80 percent of women with HIV were infected by having sex with men.

In 2003, 61 percent of black high school students reported being sexually active, compared with 43 percent of whites, according to Advocates for Youth, a Washington, D.C., advocacy group. Among black teens, 16 percent reported four or more partners. One study found that nearly one-fourth of teenage black girls said their first sexual experience was with an older man.