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Patty Dark is standing in line at the Hobby Lobby in Oklahoma City. She needs some glue for a special project she is creating with her new Cricut Cutter, which cuts small shapes and decoration. She’s been making a card for a friend.
Dark, 51, was in Oklahoma for a one-day stint at her job with Southwest Airlines and is driving back to her home in Saginaw. Before starting out, she gets a text from her husband Darrell, which reads, "Are you feeling OK? I love you.""That made my day," said Dark, describing her husband as her rock, a great cook and a man who "smiles like a Cheshire cat." Patty Dark is an attractive, busy, happy person. To listen to her talk, it’s hard to believe she has stage-four cancer diagnosed in 2004. At her diagnosis, she was given no more than 18 months to live and, since that time, the cancer has taken residence in her bones, her uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes, abdominal cavity lining and liver. She has undergone radiation, a mastectomy, a hysterectomy and is on yet another round of chemotherapy. Not owned by diseaseShe has lost her hair, but not her mind and definitely not her human spirit, which she describes as a "very powerful thing." Cancer may have taken up residence in her body, but it doesn’t own her or control her and she wants it to move out. Dark does not define herself by cancer nor by its effect on her. Rather, she is an artist, a friend, and mother – with two sons, 26 and 21– a wife of 31 years and a Southwest employee. She gets up every morning asking herself, "How am I feeling? Because I have a lot to do today!"The doctors at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital Hurst-Euless-Bedford and Texas Oncology across the street have been working with Dark since diagnosis. She says the friends she has met in support groups and at the Fall and Summer Bluebonnet Retreats, sponsored by Texas Health HEB, help her maintain her positive attitude.In fact, she is getting ready for an upcoming retreat, to be held at the Garrett Creek Ranch Conference Center in Paradise, Texas. For three days and two nights she and her "cancer friends," who are particularly positive and always lift her spirit, will celebrate wellness and eat so much she usually gains 10 pounds, she says.For Dark, friends and family are central to her life and critical to her strong hold on optimism. "I have more friends than I had before diagnosis. My neighbors bring food and help me run errands," said Dark.Rhonda Geyer is one of those neighbors. "I check up on her every day. I go to chemo with her, especially if she knows she is getting bad news," said Geyer. "I’ve learned from her to be strong and have faith. I strive to be like she is and have her love of people."Dark describes her sister Anne Brown as her "rock" and they talk at least three times a week. "I have discovered her strength and how strong someone can be," said Brown. " I have learned from her how important it is to have someone you’re close to." The concept of learning is central to Dark’s life. "Cancer has put a brand new pair of glasses on me. This is a blessing because I can no longer take life for granted," she said.Life lessons learnedFor those diagnosed with cancer, she shares what she has learned from her experience:"Doctors don’t know everything. Educate yourself, be proactive. The more you know about your body the better you can live with cancer. Have hope. Without hope you don’t have anything. Believe in miracles. Pray, you’ll live longer. Have friends. They are very important. Surround yourself with people who have love showing through and the world is so much better. Practice honesty. Face your illness. If you deny it, you can’t fight it. Laughter is very important."I don’t know how long I have to live," said Dark. "I lose my hair, wear hats, wigs — none of that bothers me. I’m just happy to be alive. Even before I got cancer I used to say, 'When I die I hope I can tell everyone I love how much I love them.’" Since she does that every day, she said, "I have already gotten my wish."
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