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On the bright side, we might finally have a media organization that is hiring.
On the not-so-bright side, that media organization is Chad Ochocinco.In case you have not heard (which would make today’s topic even timelier), the Cincinnati Bengals receiver is launching his own social media network called OCNN — the Ochocinco News Network.Via Twitter and through information obtained from his contacts around the NFL, Ochocinco plans to report news from all 32 teams.OCNN’s slogan is, "If I break it, you might as well believe it."At this point, I’ll point out that in June, Ochocinco "broke" on Twitter that he had had three tattoos attached to his face. Turned out there was more egg on the faces of those who believed his tweet than there were tattoos on his face.So believe at your own risk.I’ll admit I was not an Ochocinco fan until our last fantasy football draft. Now, Ochocinco is one of my three favorite wide receivers/tight ends in the league.However, I do not anticipate he will become one of my three favorite reporters.Not only does Ochocinco have a history of making up news, but he also is rather annoyingly adept at making news.You ever heard of some athlete going out and making a name for himself? Ochocinco literally did that when he legally changed his last name from "Johnson" to "Ochocinco" for the no-duh reason that he wears jersey No. 85, even though for accuracy purposes his last name should either be "Ocho-Cinco" or "Ochenta y Cinco."But why let preciseness get in the way of a good story?Other than accuracy issues, I see three major obstacles for Ochocinco’s start-up.First, he is going to break news based on reports from players on other teams. What happens when, as his media organization’s gatekeeper, he decides not to pass along information received from an opposing defensive back and then goes across the middle with said defensive back carrying a rejection slip taped to his shoulder pads?Don’t laugh. It will happen. I’ve seen some nasty reporter-on-editor hits in newsrooms, although they did occur before we had the new rules in place to protect "defenseless editors" before they could make "an editing move."Second, the NFL prohibits players and coaches from using social media networks within 90 minutes of kickoff.Ochocinco said he wants to go head-to-head with the mainstream media — that’s us, the good guys — to report what is going on around the league.Ochocinco obviously has not scouted his competition. Otherwise he would know that our main function these days — and perhaps the only reason our industry still is alive — is to report injury updates in the 90 minutes before kickoff that help fantasy football owners set their lineups.Third, we mainstream media people are coached in the many ways of journalism. Athletes are coached one thing: give 110 percent. If Ochocinco gives 110 percent on Twitter, by my math, the final 14 characters of his news items will not appear.Based on those three issues, you might be expecting me to hereby project OCNN as a major fail. Nope. Not going to do that.For one, my fantasy team needs Ochocinco happy. Also, the economy will have to improve before I start taking shots at a media organization that soon could be hiring.Not that I am expecting an e-mail for the first opening.Ochocinco is a savvy guy. When it comes time to make his first hire, he’ll go after a big name perfectly suited for breaking NFL news.Wolf Blitzer.Follow sports humor columnist David Thomas on Twitter @FansInsider.David Thomas, 817-390-7760
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