David Thomas 
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Miracles do happen, even for U.S. soccer
Previous Columns
David Thomas
- Wayne Terwilliger is a real treasure of Fort Worth baseball
- Donald Fehr’s retirement will throw Bud Selig for a loss
- Long, wet U.S. Open ends with deserving champion
- A Father’s Day salute: Where would sports be without its Pop stars?
- U.S. Open course is now Bathpage Black
- For a few days, the world’s best golfers will be just like us
- Pittsburgh is the City of Champions (and the Pirates)
- An exclusive chat with Rachel Alexandra
- Warning track power goes a long way in the Bronx
-
Sarah Fisher tours downtown Fort Worth in her race car
- As Tim Clark knows, pressure is in the eye of the putter
- You can’t take these to a bank, but ...
- These days, you need a program to see who’s still together
- Colonial players, fans paint their support for Amy Mickelson in pink
- Mediate’s lesson helped Longview man draw strength during a dark time
- With apologies to any golfer whose career I held back
- Passing down that honored tradition of keeping score of baseball games
- Leaving only highlight in Texas Rangers’ trip to Detroit
- Rooting for the first-place Texas Rangers is catching on
Putting on our Sunday best …
Raise your hand if, before Wednesday, you did not know what the Confederations Cup was, but now you want the United States to win it.
They’re calling the U.S. men’s soccer team’s 2-0 upset of No. 1-ranked Spain the "Miracle on Grass," but somehow I just can’t get as worked up over the Spanish soccer team as I could the old Russian hockey teams.
It was a relief to hear "Miracle on Grass" had nothing to do with a great performance by an athlete high on marijuana.
After it was revealed that Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto had tested positive for marijuana at the World Baseball Classic, he called it "an isolated incident." What was the isolated incident — using marijuana or getting caught?
Ollie the Optimist says worrying about whether the Texas Rangers will be able to retake first place is much better than what Rangers fans are usually worrying about this time of year.
I know the Rangers faced some quality pitchers during their recent offensive struggles, but aren’t quality pitchers the kind they would see in the playoffs?
The Dallas Mavericks’ Rodrigue Beaubois, like the San Antonio Spurs’ Tony Parker, is a quick point guard from France. But let’s stop the comparisons there. Beaubois is two years older than Parker was when he entered the NBA, is not near as polished and doesn’t bring Eva Longoria to games with him.
How bad it must feel to be a point guard the Minnesota Timberwolves didn’t draft.
If Shaquille O’Neal was the Big Cactus in Phoenix, what will he be in Cleveland? The Big Snowman? The Big Erie? The Big Mistake by the Lake?
Speaking of big ... Dallas Cowboys offensive linemen Leonard Davis, Marc Colombo and Cory Procter have signed a recording contract as part of a heavy metal band named Free Reign. At least they didn’t choose False Start for their name.
Add another person to the list of those who consider Terrell Owens a bad teammate. But this time it’s a supermodel (Joanna Krupa) and the playing field is from ABC’s The Superstars competition.
If T.O. says being released by the Dallas Cowboys is behind him and he is moving forward, why does he keep talking about being released?
The Cowboys began offering public tours of their new stadium Friday. Once the stadium is complete, tours will cost $15 for adults and $12 for children. Some of you will remember when, for 15 bucks, you could see a Cowboys game instead of just the stadium.
You know all those "I Am Second" billboards? I had to convince someone that they have nothing to do with Phil Mickelson and the U.S. Open.
And all this time I thought Jon & Kate Plus 8 was two bad golfers playing in a mixed scramble.
I keep having this nightmare where I become NHL commissioner and have to try to pronounce those names at the draft.
Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson has given himself a new nickname: "Every Coach’s Dream." I don’t know. If you have to give yourself such a nickname, it’s probably not too accurate.
Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez, on Albuquerque Isotopes fans warmly welcoming him for his first rehab game: "People love me everywhere I go." One question: Has Manny been to Boston lately?
I’m taking a couple of weeks’ vacation. If you call the office and they tell you that I’m hiking the Appalachian Trail, they’re wrong.
Follow sports humor columnist David Thomas on Twitter @FansInsider.
