Guns in schools

Posted Monday, Apr. 22, 2013  comments  Print Reprints

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Everybody must surely realize by now that the solution to more guns in public schools is more guns in public schools.

The English teacher, often having spare time in her curriculum, could be trained at the nearest firing range to fire a simple handgun.

So what if she shoots herself in the foot after removing the cobwebs from the gun barrel? The sound of that shot coming from within the school will be extremely unsettling to the illicit shooter.

It should have the effect of throwing him/her off balance, thus giving the legitimate law enforcement authorities time to descend upon the school.

To supplement the defense of the school, the older of the elementary school kids could be trained by the National Rifle Association to handle a single-shot pistol. These pistols would be stored in a locked gun cabinet and the key would be retained by the English teacher.

The commotion caused by the English teacher retrieving her pistol, shooting herself in the foot and looking for the key to the gun cabinet should awaken the armed guard snoozing in front of the TV.

He will be a big help in counting the bodies.

-- Ernest Wisian,

Fort Worth

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