Betsy Stuetze ties her shoes and stretches for a run. She and husband Chris are training for a half-marathon, to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
Betsy said, "Each year after the race, I tell myself, 'this is the last time.' And a few weeks after I stop hurting, I remember why I do it -- to make a difference. And I start all over again."The Stuetzes also have an adoption story, but it doesn't start like most such stories do. They already had two biological children; their family was complete. Then their older child, Alex, was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away. After a few years, the family was ready to expand."We wanted more children, and adoption was our best and most compassionate option," Betsy recalled.They began looking at private domestic and even international adoption but ultimately chose to adopt through the state foster-care system.After some research, they decided to adopt siblings rather than just one child. As part of their training as foster parents, they learned about the psychological damage caused by separating siblings."Chris and I left that training sobbing. The decision was made," Betsy said.Of the 6,000 kids available for adoption in Texas, about 70 percent are sibling sets. Texas has responded to this need by expanding the definition of "special needs" to include sibling sets, although those siblings might not have a medical, mental or physical disability. That means a faster process for families -- 12 to 18 months in most cases.Once committed to the process, a family can become approved to have siblings placed in their home in as little as six to nine months. Often, foster children are immediately eligible for adoption, meaning their birth parents have no parental rights and relatives have been deemed unfit to care for them or have refused to accept responsibility. The biggest obstacle for these children is waiting for the right family to become licensed to adopt.After an individual or couple begins fostering children, it's typically another six to nine months to adopt.National Adoption Day strives to raise awareness of the 100,000 children in foster care nationwide waiting to find loving "forever families." It is held the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and courthouses across the country are opened solely to finalize adoptions facilitated by state departments of family and protective services (DFPS).Foster-to-adopt parents in Texas must be 21 years old and healthy and cannot have a history of abuse or a criminal background. Adoptive parent(s) can be single or married, heterosexual or homosexual and must complete a comprehensive home study.Families considering foster adoption should take time to find the right agency. Some agencies will not work with single parents, and others have age or religious restrictions.Adoptive parents of siblings are eligible to receive reimbursement for certain legal expenses, and out-of-pocket costs for adopting are minimal, unlike private adoptions. After adoption, the children get free health insurance and in-state college tuition.Betsy says the process of adopting three siblings to join their biological son was sometimes emotionally grueling but worth it -- kind of like being pregnant. "The coolest thing is seeing them together," she said. "They look so different, but you know just by seeing them together they're a family."On Nov. 17, National Adoption Day, 73 children in Tarrant County will legally become a part of their "forever family," and the courthouse will be a place of celebration and joy.To learn more about adopting a sibling set through Texas' foster-to-adopt program, visit AdoptChildren.org.Carin Evans is an attorney in Fort Worth specializing in adoptions. www.parisassociates.comHave more to add? News tip? Tell us
