Posted Saturday, Jul. 14, 2012
By Bob Ray Sanders
bobray@star-telegram.com
A popular, outgoing, "brainy" 16-year-old girl caused her mother alarm last month when she posted a troubling message on her Facebook page.
It was a Sunday morning, June 24, at 8:35 that Araseli Nicole Arredondo, a student at North Side High School, published this question: "Why are people so mean, and the meanest are the people who know you and use it against you?"
Her mother, Diane Arredondo, who had been busy washing dishes from the night before, saw the posting about an hour later and immediately headed for her daughter's room.
When she opened the door, she made the gruesome discovery: Araseli hanging by an extension cord from the ceiling fan.
The mom, like too many others these days who have lost a child to suicide, was at a loss as to why her daughter, who had so much promise, decided to take her own life. Except for another Facebook message earlier that morning to her aunt (Diane's sister) saying she had been teased at school, Araseli left no clue.
Diane Arredondo is investigating whether her daughter was bullied in some way since some students apparently teased her about being smart and later about her height (4 feet, 11 inches). Her mom said that early in the school year Araseli's best friend since their elementary days had broken off their friendship.
But the mother is grabbing at straws for an explanation because everyone who knew Araseli -- teachers, counselors and other students -- saw no signs of depression or anything that caused them to suspect she had problems.
Sadly, Araseli's death is part of a tragic trend in this country. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. For every completed teen suicide, there are at least 25 attempts. Overall, there are about 36,000 suicides each year in the United States.
Araseli, who dreamed of being an engineer, had just completed her sophomore year at North Side where she was a student leader and enrolled in all Advanced Placement classes, including calculus. She also was a member of the tennis team.
She had applied for two jobs this summer because she and some friends were already thinking about next year's prom and the kind of dresses they were going to buy, her mother said.
Through tears, her mom said, "She was a wonderful daughter. She never wanted much. She didn't want to put a burden on me. She always had a smile on her face."
Melissa Gault, Araseli's freshman English teacher and Whiz Kids coach this year, remembers "a very involved student ... a wonderful, wonderful kid."
Gault said she and the other teachers saw nothing in Araseli's demeanor that would indicate that she was troubled or at risk.
"It makes no sense to us. ... It's just a real tragedy for us," Gault said.
The teacher kept an essay Araseli wrote as a freshman when she was applying for a prestigious academic program out of state.
The essay began by talking about a 10-year-old who never excelled at anything until a science teacher got her interested in a project and she later fell in love with astronomy. She also wrote about her family, saying they had been through a lot.
"On top of that," she said, "I am being raised by a single parent who has worked hard to maintain a stable home, a home where I am encouraged to be my best. My mom is very important to me. She has given up a lot to raise me and my older brothers. One of the things I would like to do for her is to get an education. ...
"I am a strong, smart and caring person who will never give up. At the end of the day I want to be able to say I have done everything possible to have a better life. I don't want for my mom to think that she gave up her dreams for nothing."
Gault said that after Araseli's death, she sat down with her own daughters to explain that if it could happen to this young girl, it could happen to anyone. She encouraged them to talk to her about anything that bothers them.
That's exactly what Diane Arredondo hopes every parent will do with their children, so they won't have to go through what she's experiencing right now.
Bob Ray Sanders' column appears Sundays and Wednesdays. 817-390-7775Twitter: @BobRaySanders
