"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me."
These were words to live by when I was a young girl, which wasn't all that long ago. Sage wisdom dished out when we lamented that we were being teased or bothered by someone. Nowadays, with all the forms of social media, mean words don't dissipate into the atmosphere; they last and can destroy a youth in moments. Why is it then so hard to get help quickly?I recently was on a girls' weekend with a group of intelligent, confident, kindhearted, amazing women. As we shared our joys and concerns, the subject of bullying came up. One of my friends' daughters had been the target of bullies. A group of other girls had agreed to belittle her in a coordinated effort.This is where the "mother bear" in all of us wants to rush out of the cave and strike some fear into someone."Did you talk to the principal, the counselor, their parents, their youth leader?" I asked. She replied yes to all but no one could help. What? No one?How can a young girl be the victim of a cruel group of girls and no one has the "authority" to step in? Many groups push to the front when the "game" goes too far. Churches and schools are quick to form groups and have programs to overcome bullying, yet during the event so many stand aside and are unwilling to confront the issue.The other young friends of the bullied girl feel helpless and fear getting involved because they might become the next target. The principal's hands are tied from issuing punishment unless there has been a physical altercation. The bullies' parents are tolerating bad behavior at home, so it's no surprise they are unconcerned with school behavior. And while it wasn't at my church, I was greatly offended to hear that the church's response didn't go beyond praying for those involved.Are we as adults really unable to look 12-year-olds in the face and say: "Girls, what you are doing is wrong, mean and downright nasty. It is unbecoming of a member of our school, our church, our family and will not be tolerated." When did we lose that right? When did we lose the courage?These are the moments I long for the crime-drama justice. The truth comes out, justice prevails and the wrongdoer is punished. A lesson is learned by all.Sure, the world is filled with people who are different, annoying, not like "us." That's why we have so many groups, clubs and organizations we can belong to. Has our society become so afraid of conflict that we cannot have some basic rules of decency? Shouldn't the rule be "If you can't text or Facebook anything nice, then don't text or Facebook anything at all"?Can we support our schools when they try to discourage bad behavior because so many parents seem to be dropping the ball? Can we encourage an open discussion with a student's family and outside community?I'm tired of the excuses we can find to explain the behavior and the reasons we can't get involved. This includes parents of the children's friends. Each of us shares a responsibility in confronting this issue actively before it goes too far.Why don't we treat the behavior with swift justice and a refresher course of the rules I learned in kindergarten?Pam Young of Fort Worth is a member of the 2012 Star-Telegram Community Columnist Panel. pamfwst12@gmail.comHave more to add? News tip? Tell us
